Songbird Alley

2010-07-23T11:47:00.001-06:00

Love is All Around

2010-05-12T23:30:00.005-06:00

I like it. :)

Also, here's some more stuffs:

(I miss that shawl. I don't know what happened to it. It brought out the medieval emo in me :P)

PS I've been trying to think of a good blog title for a long time now but never felt like anything fit quite right. Songbird alley is ok for now, but I think it's kind of cheesy. What say you?

Old Doodles and Stuff

2010-05-10T20:33:00.010-06:00

My favorite voices

2010-05-10T10:27:00.005-06:00

I stole this from Georgia, but it was just too good not to share!

I love to hear children singing. Music is one of those things that really touches my soul - throw children into the mix and I'm a straight up mess. ;)

I'm not much of a writer, but maybe I'll be inspired sometime soon (or sometime long). For now, though, music and pictures suit me fine. Chris and I looked through some of our old (and I mean old!) artwork last night. It was really fun. We are both SO different as artists! It's fun! I'll post a picture of an old painting I did in a little bit (once I find the camera). :)

Take care, yous

- Amy

Vashti Bunyan

2009-01-27T14:41:00.002-07:00

A new (old) singer/songwriter I just discovered. :)

100 Things Before I Die

2008-06-11T22:47:00.003-06:00

100 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
(I think I made this list sometime in '07)

1.visit the Holy Lands
2.have secret passageways and secret rooms in my house
3.do temple work in all the Europe temples for my ancestors from the surrounding regions
4.observe a Muslim prayer service √
5.Learn the “Call to Prayer”
6.go inside the Hagia Sophia
7.learn how to swim properly...oiy
8. write/publish a book
9.Attend a “House of Blues”
10.learn how to Blues dance
11.become a decent lindy hopper
12.be licked by a giraffe √
13.go whale watching and not get miserably sea sick
14.live on a houseboat for a week √
15.teach a child how to read
16.teach a child how to pray √
17.make a quilt
18.visit Stratford Upon Avon and see a play in the New Globe Theater
19.travel to Australia/New Zealand for a summer
20.live in France for a season
21.eat Haggas prepared by a Scottish chef √ (SO delicious. I still crave it to this day, lol)
22.be in another play
23.adopt a grandparent
24.make a mosaic
25.buy cheap stuff at a market in China
26.work in a soup kitchen
27.ride in a brightly-colored hot air balloon
28.paint a life-size portrait
29.attend an opera √
30.go on a safari
31.own a classic Ford Mustang
32.play an instrument/s √
33.explore a rain forest
34.Perform an aria from Handel's Messiah √ (quite a while ago. Lost a lot of range/ability since then =( ...like to do it again though)
35.help paint a mural √
36.paint a mural of something I actually like
37.fly a kite in Central Park
38.visit the castle in Scotland that my ancestor supposedly haunts :) (cool story behind that)
39.Wash an elephant √
40.Ride an elephant √
41.Ride an elephant in Thailand
42.better overcome stage fright
43.get married
44.stay married
45.have children
46.eat at a pub in Ireland
47.love someone unconditionally
48.drive a motorcycle
49.go on an 'art' themed tour of Europe
50.earn a bachelors degree
51.design and sew a formal Victorian ball gown
52.grow a thriving vegetable garden
53.have a library in my home
54.shoot a rifle √ (I was little though. Hm, that sounds bad, lol. Want to do it again)
55.ride a horse (also a VERY long time ago) √
56.help find a cure for RA and other autoimmune diseases
57.earn an associates degree in Nutrition
58.earn an associates degree in psychology
59.earn an associates degree in film
60.earn an associates degree in theatre
61.earn an associates degree in Fine Arts √
62.help excavate an ancient city
63.go skinny dipping in the Mediterranean (yeehaw!)
64.have a moment with a southern gent in uniform, on a white horse, at sunset √ :)
65.direct a short film √
66.serve a mission
67.attend a masquerade ball √
68.See the Alhambra
69.Join the BYU International Ballroom Dance Team
70.chop off my hair and give it to Locks of Love
71.attend Brigham Young University √
72.become conversational in French (getting there :))
73.become conversational in German
74.become conversational in Mandarin
75.become conversational in Russian
76.become conversational in Arabic
77.become conversational in Spanish
78.read the Torah in Hebrew
79.anonymously do something big for someone
80.become better organized
81.Visit India and buy a Sari (among other things, lol. If I went just for a Sari, well, that'd be silly. ;))
82.walk on the Great Wall
83.ride a camel
84.kiss the Blarney Stone
85.see the pyramids
86.visit all 50 states
87.attend a rock concert √
88.attend a performance in the Sydney Opera House
89.tour the Met
90.Sing in an Opera
91.take pictures worthy of framing
92.adopt a child
93.bring someone into the Church √
94.go up the elevator of the Eiffel Tower
95.watch the bull run of the Fiesta de los Sanfermines in Pamplona
96.scuba dive tropical waters
97.learn to be selfless
98.backpack through Europe
99. participate in a big humanitarian project
100. backpack up and down a mountain √

(I'll admit that a lot of these are ideas taken from other people's lists. I think most are my own though. And feel free to take what you want for a list of your own! It's fun! :))
(humbug! When I copied and pasted this list from my word processor, I lost the space between the numbers...OCD? Anyway, it bugs! :P ;))

So, after creating this list of things I'd like to do, I realized there's a TON of stuff I haven't done. This left me wondering what I've been doing with my life! ha :)
Well, I've still got plenty of time left. :) But, while I was making the list, various random/interesting moments (that don't really fit into the "what I'd like to do" category) popped into my memory. So I thought I'd write a few of them down – just to make myself feel better for seeming to have a lack of interesting experiences. ;)

1.turn down repeated make out offers from a “male model” while on a two day train ride (very funny) √
2.dissect a shark √
3.pet a dolphin √
4.polka feverishly till I collapse into the arms of a dashing gentleman √
5.have a tourist take a picture of my friend (a girl) and me walking down the street arm in arm in San Fransisco (lol, should have seen that coming)
6.meet the Queen of England (well, sort of...) √
8.have a host of tropical birds regurgitate their breakfast in my hair to be saved for later...√
9.be hit on by 3 different five year olds within a week √
10.consistently sell nearly twice as many “combo meals” when using a Southern accent √
11. randomly approached by a stranger who wanted me to be in their movie (twice, actually) √
12.actually participate in that movie (lol, one of them, it was a minor part for a short a film student was doing when I was back in CA. It was your classic detective/murder mystery story. I died.) √
13.be stuck on a public bus, on the back roads, with a lost bus driver and a mentally unstable woman who likes to yell and pull out her hair √
14.have my mother quote Robert Burns', “To a mouse” while substituting my ghetto, rowdy, and disinterested freshman English class √ (oh, the mortification, lol)
15.be invited to dinner by an 80-something year old renowned Indian poet while on a train √
16.have a mental shut-down ("movie moment") when spoken to by an attractive member of the opposite sex √
(I didn't think these things really happened – but they do. Trust me. Haha.
Guy: Hey, thanks for not stealing my seat today. Me -turning around to see who's addressing me- I stare until he repeats himself and I just replied with a slow, “mm...yeah” :) It's ok though. Later that week we were studying next to each other in the library - he fell asleep and when I woke him up to go to class, he had drool all over his text book. :) Alas, a week later he was transferred (Air Force) =(
17. Have the cops called on me for "disturbing the peace" (come on now) √
18. have my "arranged marriage" and "dowry" discussed publicly when I was 12 √ (ha, don't worry, it's not what it seems. ;))
19. fall asleep to the gentle howling of coyotes in the distance √
20. Rob a bank...just kidding. ;)

Does the Journey Seem Long?

2008-05-13T02:27:00.005-06:00

I was, earlier tonight, discussing briefly trials and faith.
Autumn made the comment that sometimes she thinks we must have been crazy to accept the conditions and trials of mortality. That we willingly came down to take this test - "What were we on?"
*smile*

In light of some difficult trials in my own life, I can understand just what she meant.
However, upon further reflection, the thought has occurred to me that, while in our pre-mortal state, there really was no question as to whether or not it was worth it.

Yes, we still had free agency to choose God's plan - but I think that because we were at that time IN His presence and knew our savior -- there must not have have been any real question. If you follow my meaning.

Joseph Smith said that the glories of Heaven are far greater than we can even imagine. If we only knew...

Well, at that time we did know.
This gives me cause to hope - not only to hope that this glimmer in our existence will lead us back to our Heavenly home - but that because we knew the savior, we had enough hope and faith that we would return. Because we knew what it was like to be in their presence, I wonder that we could even imagine living without them.

This is something (I believe) we all understood. If someone were to present us with a great challenge or task - for the life of a loved one, we would attempt it without question, would we not? You can't imagine living without them, especially if there's something you can do about it. You don't mull over the pros and cons. Perhaps you don't even stop to think if you can possibly succeed on your own - you just do it.
---
So, if we came into this world knowing we would have many trials, temptations, and heartaches - and that not all of us would make it - well, that alone gives me cause to ponder how great and strongly we felt in connection to our Heavenly Father and His heavenly home.

That we knew, even with the devil and his legions, with our own flaws and mortal weaknesses, that there was such power in our Father in Heaven - and such love from our brother Christ, that despite these odds, we would still choose to enter into this life. We had so much confidence in them, paired with our indescribable need to return to them, that all doubt was removed.

Sweet.

Grilled Pirate, anyone?

2008-05-11T23:22:00.000-06:00

I went to bed last night a young lady, and woke up a pirate!Well, that's not entirely true, but close enough.

I got up this morning and started to walk around. Things seemed a bit funny. I decided to take out my contacts. Aha! The lens on my left eye had somehow gone astray overnight - correcting my eye rather, well, INcorrectly. I shut my right eye - blurry. Then I tried closing just my left - perfect.
Blast.

Where's an eye patch when you need one?!
Anyhow, I'm glad I had my big sunglasses to wear on the walk up to church today (that way I could shut one eye to look at someone and they wouldn't notice, lol).

;)

So that's why, for today at least, I am a pirate (for those of you who asked ;)).

Secondly, BBQ-ing is apparently not as intuitive as it appears to be. At least, not with the BBQ I tried using today. The BBQ we had back home was simple - briquets, lighter fluid, and a match - and there you go.
The one here at Regency had all these knobs and buttons! Someone told me how to use it...but the ignite switch wasn't working (or I wasn't working). I could smell the gas coming out quite a bit (gave me a headache, even) and decided to wait for another day...rather than get it to ignite and blow up my face.

So that's that. Dinner was still good.
But I WILL conquer that BBQ. Mark my words. ;)

mark my words...

(goodnight, all :))

(ps something funny:
Amy: whales give me the creeps
Hyrum: ha
Amy: but I'd rather have that than arachnophobia
those poor people
spiders are everywhere
if there were whales all over my apt like there are spiders
man
I don't know what I'd do!
haha
Hyrum: ha
awesome idea
Amy: yeah?
Hyrum: yes
a whale horror film
-----
I'd be scared. Sounds like a winner!)

(pps sorry, more goodness! lol

person: too many people are typing at me!
me: I have a stick you could beat them off with
person: heh, id feel bad cause theyre all sisters
me: oh
-then that wouldn't be very good at all
-wait a second
-you're chattin it up with the ladies!
-lol
person: yeah, and its so much work!!! i know one likes me
-im sure the other doesn't
-and the third im not sure
-but i dont like any of them like that
me: lol
person: and they all wanna talk to me about all their blah blah
me: what a great listener you are...

lol. Boys. Good grief!)

Waiting for an Epiphany

2008-03-27T14:47:00.005-06:00

I was slouching back in my desk, feet up on the chair in front of me, a slight smile on my face, relaxed. I glanced around the room to see my fellow students underlining textbook passages with their fingers, muttering to themselves. Some were already to the essay questions. I didn't even bother to look down at the blank sheet of paper on my desk . I sighed and let my thoughts wander.

"MISS HOLT," his voice was deep and rumbly,

"yes?"

"Just what do you think you're doing - sitting there like you haven't got a care in the world?" He tried to sound authoritative, but I could sense a bit of amusement behind his 'agitation'.

"hm" I paused a moment, "waiting for an epiphany"

"An epiphany, eh?"

Another pause. I nodded my head in satisfaction.
"yes, an epiphany."

"I see. So is this 'epiphany' going to help you get your assignment done before the bell rings?"

"you know, I just don't know. I suppose it depends on what kind of epiphany I'm going to have. And I'm not going to know until I get it. I'm in a bit of a spot, you see."

I looked him in the eye and grinned.

His look of shock at my impudence was quickly replaced by a chuckle as he spun his chair back to his desk, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, "an epiphany, ha!"

I was a pretty snotty little ninth grader. But we had fun, Mr. Blakesmith and I. He liked to tell stories about his family, neighbors, random encounters, religion, and occasionally - History. His one time rambling on the topic of Mormonism even initiated questioning from a fellow student, who knew I was a member of this "strange religion" (a fellow student who is now himself a member of said religion and, as last I've heard, is quite happy about that. ;) Hooray Mr. Blakesmith!)

Anyway, recalling that story has made me think a bit about where I am in my life right now. "And just where is that?" you might ask.
Well, I'm not sure exactly.

And, for some strange reason, I'm OK with that.
For the time being, at least.

You see, I used to have a plan. Not a very detailed plan, but it was certainly a plan. I had a few deadlines. There were things on my "map of the future" that seemed reasonably solid and attainable. I knew there would be room for adjustment, but I still expected a general fluidity and simplicity in what I wanted.

Naiive, perhaps.

I've been asked several questions the last few months - "Well, what are you going to do next? Are you going to stay at BYU? Are you going to move somewhere that's warm year-round? Will you ever dance again? Can you see a different doctor? Will you take treatment? Do you think it will help? Can you afford it? Is it better to just live with "it" now (to avoid immunosuppressants) and leave to chance the deteriorating effects of the disease? Will you take classes in the Summer? Can you get back to 'good' academic standing by Fall? etc, etc"

And what do I reply?
"We'll see."

When I gave that response to my visiting teachers, they turned their heads to the side, a little amused, a little confused.

"That's it? We'll see? hmm, I like that," Courtney laughed a little.

Honestly, I just don't know what is in store for me the next few years. I still realize the importance of making goals and trying to keep myself busy. I'll still ponder these questions - some with more urgency than others. I know I don't want to be indecisive to the point where decisions are made by default.
But, at the same time, I am feeling a contentedness in my life right now that leads me to believe that a little patience and faith will do me some good.

So what am I doing right now? I'm waiting for an epiphany.

;)

And until that comes, I'm going to keep trucking along with what I know I can and should be doing right now (at least, what I assess are "cans" and "shoulds"). And I'll try and do it well. My best, even.

But perhaps more importantly, I'm going to enjoy life. I'm going to sit back and take a deep breath -smell the roses- so to speak.
(One of the things I miss most about summer and pre-RA, is taking long long walks and finding my own quiet place. During the cold months, stress, and with various other inhibitors, I am more limited in my capacity to exercise/walk for long periods of time..or at all.)

There are so many beautiful little things that go on every single day. And so much that people miss. There's a flight of stairs I used to take on my way home from campus that has a beautiful view of the mountains and valley. I loved walking down them at sunset - stopping at the top and just staring at the mountains in the distance, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Hurried steps behind me would bring me back to "reality" and I'd feel sheepish for half a second and continue down the stairway.

Why would I feel sheepish? hm. Our world is too fast, too distracted, too disconnected. I certainly don't mean to imply that I am full of deep insight and on some higher spiritual level - but, I do like to think that I appreciate beauty in it's many forms - or at least make a worthy effort of doing so.

I'm getting off topic (an article I read earlier, posted by Peter, has got me in this mindset. It's really very interesting, not to mention surprising. You should read it). I've written about these sentiments time and time again (not here). I like that it's a re-occurring theme in my life. I hope that doesn't go away.

Anyway, I guess the point of this note is just to say that I'm feeling content right now about not knowing what's coming next. I deferred this semester to "sort things out". But I've decided that, after going through the semester and still having nothing quite "sorted out"...I'm just going to have to take some things as they come. I'll keep working and living and looking into whatever options I have. I'll talk to an adviser about classes and whatnot. Probably find a new doctor that doesn't greedily cram in patients and go by a "wait till it gets really bad" method. I've thought about moving in the fall.
But honestly, I don't want to.

So I'm going to stay here if or until I really feel like this isn't the place for me.

:)

And that's it.
Thanks. Have a beautiful day.

(PS I listened to this video a few times while writing this note. Thanks to this bit of mastery and my attempt at writing and self expression, I feel rather fulfilled. :)
So, if my blog here doesn't do much for you in regards to comfort and peace, I recommend taking a listen for yourself!)

(PPS I've noticed that my grammar has gotten significantly worse over time. I guess I just don't care as much anymore. That or it wasn't very good to begin with, lol, and I'm now just realizing my sloppiness. Oh well. My excuse is that I'm trying to express my thoughts with a freshness - As if you were hearing my voice directly. Grammar just gets in the way! Structure? Bah! ;)
Maybe I'm fooling myself. But hey, whatever justifications keep me writing...right?)

:)

A Valentines Snack

2008-02-01T00:28:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite quotes for the Valentine season.
Enjoy. :)

"Friendship is a disinterested commerce between equals; love, an abject intercourse between tyrants and slaves." -Oliver Goldsmith

"Love is a great beautifier" -Louisa May Alcott

"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love" -Goethe

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the perogative of the brave." -Mahatma Ghandi

"Intimacy, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction." -Ambrose Bierce

"To hide the key to your heart is to risk forgetting where you placed it." -Timothy P Childers

"Lots of people are willing to die for the person they love, which is a pity, for it is a much grander thing to live for that person." -Jason Hurst

"To love another person is to help them love God." -Soren Kierkegaard

"Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference." -Libbie Fudim

"Oh, innocent victims of Cupid,
Remember this terse little verse;
To let a fool kiss you is stupid,
To let a kiss fool you is worse." -E Y Harburg

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." -Dorothy Parker

"If you first don't succeed in love, try a little ardour." -Anon

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction." -Saint-Exupery

"Spread love everywhere you go...let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." -Mother Teresa

"In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others." -Andre Maurois

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not." -Andre Gide

"Unable are the Loved to die: For Love is Immortality." -Emily Dickinson

"The opposite of love, I have found, is not hate, but indifference." -Elie Weisel

"Assumptions are the termites of relationships." -Henry Winkler

"When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues." -Honore de Balzac

"The love of liberty is the love of others. The love of power is the love of ourselves." -William Hazlit

"No one perfectly loves God who does not perfectly love some of his creatures." -Marguerite de Valois

Time Machine

2008-01-30T01:59:00.004-07:00

Last night I had a dream that took place in what seemed to be 13th century France. I'm not exactly sure how I knew the time - but that seemed to be my knowledge during the dream. And as for the France bit, well, I'm only guessing it was France because the soldier's uniforms were covered in fleur de lis.

I was on the side of the king. There were brothers at war - fighting for the crown. It didn't take me long to realize I was on the wrong side. The king, who turned out to be my brother (not resembling any of my real brothers or anything), was rather vain and arrogant, a bit of a tyrant.

There was a lot going on. The two sides were preparing for battle. My side, the king's side, wore red tunics with gold fleur de lis. Another hint I was on the wrong team...red.

I looked across the battle field and, to my surprise, found that the other side were in Blue and White (BYU's noble colors). *laughs* Yes, I too found this quite delightful. ;)

Anyhow, lots of things went on throughout the dream that were odd and sometimes disconnected - but often with a comical edge to them. There was a knight from the side of the noble Blues who entered the castle along with the rest of the invading troops. (I was secretly hoping they would win - having some kind of foreknowledge that I really preferred this brother over the one who had already taken the crown.)

Anyhow, this knight...he was strikingly noticeable amidst the chaos. He had a huge head of curly, flaming orange hair. He was somewhat comical in his appearance as well as his startling jubilance and enthusiasm as he knocked down his enemies with great force.

Later he, the knight, found me in an empty room (I suppose he got lost in the castle...), startling me. I thought, "Shoot, this guy's gonna kill me because I'm on the wrong side!" He stopped and posed dramatically, tilting his head with a slight wobble and raised eyebrow - much like Cary Elwes in Men in Tights (lol). He exclaimed, "WHY! I know who you are!"
I paused, "er...ok?"
"Why! You're the king's sister! Aren't you glad the tyrant will soon be de-throned and peace and harmony will again return to our fair kingdom?!"

lol

"Um, well yeah. I mean, definitely!" I was relieved he could tell I had nothing to do with that wicked king, though I had to stifle a smile at his slightly ridiculous manner. (Have any of you seen the movie Enchanted? He also reminded me a bit of Prince Edward.)

But interrupting our conversation came a troop of royal guards, "defend the king!", they shouted as they ran toward him at full speed. I gasped, but before I could even start to fear, the absurd-ish knight busted out with moves straight from The Matrix!

It was quite fantastic. After he (gracefully) knocked them all to the ground, he paused and looked around the room with satisfaction. He nodded his head and looked back to me, "Um, I'm sorry, but would you excuse me a moment? I have to use the rest-room."

lol

I was quite speechless for a moment because that was certainly the last thing I expected to come from his mouth after such a sight. But I nodded vaguely as I stared. His gaze lingered for a moment, a bit expectant, "OH," I realized, and pointed down the hall way, "on the left".

Anyhow, I guess I won't bore you much longer ;). The dream continued on quite a bit, as mine tend to do. The knight provided much of the comic relief. He held off a "band of traitorous subjects" who were "making their escape out the window to the loo."
...
I corrected him by informing him that they were merely frightened servants who probably disliked the king just as much as he did. He paused, sword tipped under a young man's chin whose eyes were asking me where I found this loony, and said (with a hint of disappointment), "well, Really? Are you sure?"

"yes, quite."

"Ah, my mistake then. Sorry. Sorry, move along then folks. No harm done. Enjoy your evening".

Looks like I've been reading too much Terry Pratchett and have had to much exposure to Monty Python. ;)
Anyway, always love a good dream. Hope you got some kind of enjoyment out of that.
Happy dreams to you all.

It was a dark and stormy night

2007-09-29T23:11:00.003-06:00

We met in what we like to call the "library". It was raining outside. There were leaks in the ceiling and some of the books were damp and moldy. There was a chill in the room and I pulled my robe close around me.
We were there to come up with a solution. A solution to the evil that blanketed our city like a dense fog .
It had to be stopped - and we were there to do the job.
(Oh boy. The suspense - the drama!)

Our plans were halted, however, when she appeared in a flash of green light. A cackle burst from her slimy brown lips as she eyed me smugly. A true villain, indeed.
Here she was to destroy us and our hopes of ever conquering the filth that had already taken so many.
I would not have it.
I reached for my wand and pointed at the creature - eyes set on my target, teeth clenched. If she must die it will be for the greater good. I gave her one warning.
She only laughed, "These sticks will be of no use to you now, fools"
Joseph fired as she let out another cackle - he was not so hesitant.
Nothing happened.
He tried another wand.
Nothing.

"Aw crap," I looked around at the wide array of wands all about the room; in stacks on shelves or hanging from the ceiling.
They were all worthless. Worthless sticks. Go figure.

We had to get out of there. She had already grown too powerful.

Before I knew it I was running down an alley, clutching the slippers to my chest and breathing hard. The winter chill was merciless and cut through my lungs like a knife.
She was hard on me - pressing ever closer.
"I WILL HAVE THEM" she cackled.

This was the moment. I had to make the choice, and there was no turning back.
I held the slippers together, they sparkled in the moonlight (lol, this is fun) as I began to click.
click
click
click
"there's no place like home. there's no place like home. there's -
She had a hold on my throat and was reaching for the slippers.
I jerked away from her grasp as hard as I could and gave one last click - "NO PLACE LIKE HOME"

*WHOOSH*

What is that bright light. UG. I rubbed my eyes and squinted. Green?
I looked up and saw a clear blue sky. The air was warm and fresh. Grass all around me, mountains in the distance. I stood up, a little lightheaded.
Everything seemed so familiar. It was as if

A shriek interrupted my thoughts and I looked behind me, only to see the witch and her legion of creatures en route behind her.
I began to run.

"What the? Oh man, I'm gonna be wearing these things forever. There's always a catch isn't there?"
I looked down and there they were, the ruby red slippers.
"Freakin' uncomfortable, that's what these are.

Anyway, no time for whining. Really got to be going..."

I kept on running. There were moments of quiet - as if I were the only creature on earth. I swallowed delicious bursts of the sweet, healing air. Everything was serene, though I was running surprisingly fast. Every joint in perfect order, like an Olympic athlete. I was unstoppable.

Then the chaos came back in a flash. Sounds of creatures I could not distinguish were screaming and shouting behind me. They were getting so close. I didn't feel afraid, just pressed for time (strange). I heard a distant call and moments later a tremendous flock of black crows were flying overhead, making my blue skies black and menacing.

I gave a silent cry for help and continued to run.
Within seconds there was another legion of birds - though this time they were white; and like nothing I had ever seen. Some new species perhaps?
Well it didn't matter what they were - I knew they were on my side.

I ran and ran, but was starting to falter.
She was so close now I could hear her voice distinctly. I began to stumble. In a last effort I called out to the skies, hands reaching out.
In a great swoop, one of the ethereal creatures flew down to me. I grabbed a handful of feathers madly and held on for dear life.
Up up up we went.
We shot through the mass of winged soldiers and up to the clouds, high above them all.
I was safe. We flew and flew and flew. Soon everything was far behind us. It was quiet. I'd see patches of field between clouds. Then hills, then mountains.

Closer and closer to the earth we flew, until we were there. A grand host awaited us in that valley; Man and beast alike. Great tents of white, decorated with that well loved coat of arms - the red lion, were the center of the encampment.

Leading the host was the prince himself - Caspian that is (what were you expecting? lol ;)). He greeted me and smiled. Taking my hand, he led me to the lake. It was a silvery blue. It looked still upon first glance, but at a second it was full of movement, surreal almost. The surface of the water was still, but something (or somethings) moved fluidly, quickly, underneath.
I was intrigued.
The prince led me to the water's edge, noting my interest.
To my amazement he stepped directly onto the water. He smiled and beckoned me to join him.

------

If you hadn't already guessed, this is one of my dreams. Last nights' even. It goes on from there and is quite fantastic. ;)
But I don't have time to finish it right now.
Anyway, I was originally just going to mention that I had a cool dream and then continue posting (since I've got a moment with a computer and internet).
But that would be boring.
So I decided to write it out in story form, though maybe a little shabby and disconnected - but it's a dream, eh?

Anyway, that's pretty much it. One of the coolest dreams I've had in a while. I told my roommate about it first thing this morning when I woke up. And I figured writing it down would help me remember it. So I did. :P

:)
Well, sweet dreams, mes amis.

(ps another cool thing - as I was writing this out, the music I was listening to actually flowed really well with the story, like a soundtrack. And it's a totally eclectic mix. Neat. :))

The after AFTER midnight snack

2007-06-06T00:58:00.000-06:00

*I wrote this a few nights ago after not being able to sleep for several hours. It was about 4 in the morning.
----------------------------------------

Some 11 or so years ago I was lying awake in bed just as I am now. I've always had trouble sleeping, though I'm not sure why.
Anyway, lying here tonight I've recalled several memories from when I was younger, much younger. A few of them stuck out in particular and wouldn't leave me alone until I put them down on paper. I'll relate one or two of the more whimsical variety. ;)
---------------------------------------
I was about 9 years old and had just spent the day at the Monterey Bay Aquarium with my "bff" Rosie and her aunt.
I don't recall many details of the actual day, but that night something happened that I can still recall quite clearly.
Rosie and I were sleepily ushered into a room with a bunk bed some time late in the evening. I was on the top bunk and Rosie on the bottom. Within minutes Rosie was sound asleep and I was awake thinking about jellyfish or the giant octopus or something or other...
Some while later, I heard a car pull up just outside, accompanied by several voices. One voice was approaching the wall opposite to our side of the room. I heard a rustling noise and sat up.
"Rosie! Psst! Rosie!"
"Huh? What? What?"
"There's somebody outside! Do you hear that!?"
Just then we heard a loud "KERCHUNK" as if a latch had been pulled. Our attention was fully drawn to the darkness on the other side of the room.
"KERCHUNK," there it went again.
Rosie and I, now terror stricken and clinging to each other (I had jumped down to the lower bunk) waited for whatever horror was approaching and hoped it wouldn't find us. My imagination was going wild and I was frozen in fear.
The wall across the room lifted from the floor and we saw a pair of shoes underneath; a hand pulled the wall upwards.
The wall rose up in one great thrust to reveal a man covered in shadow. Rosie and I let out the most fantastically alarming screams.
The startled figure motioned to his accomplices in the car I had heard earlier. He was hailing them to come back. Rosie and I were all the while screaming.
The wall slammed back down as he darted away into the darkness.
Rosie's mom and aunt rushed into the room just as the figure got away.
They turned on the light and asked if we were OK.
As Rosie and I related the event, her aunt put her hand to her mouth with a worried look;
"Oh no, it was Mark. I've been letting him stay in the garage for a while until he straightened things out with his family." I looked around the now lit room and realized it was just a garage covered in baseball posters and other guyish decor.
"He's just a high school kid that's a friend of my son. He must have come home early from his trip and forgot I was having company in here. Poor boy. You girls must have scared him half to death!"
My jaw dropped in my shock. What? WE scared HIM!?
We could have died! For all we knew he was a robber, a kidnapper, or worse.

Well, it didn't matter much anymore. We knew who it was and Rosie's aunt would call him in the morning to explain it all.

Thinking back on this story makes me laugh. That poor guy. Can you imagine coming home to a pair of screaming 9 year olds?
I'm sure he was just as scared as we were.
Well, maybe *almost* as scared. ;)

----------------------------------------------------------------
I once heard my mother swear. I think I was about 10 years old. It is the only time I can recall this happening. She didn't do it intentionally. She wasn't angry. I think she was trying to tell a joke, even - and some how, she slipped.

I don't remember how or why she said it, but I do remember my reaction.
I was a rather dramatic little girl, always looking to entertain. And upon hearing my mother "swear", I immediately rose to the part.

"Mom! You just said the "D" word! I cant' believe it. I absolutely can't believe it. My own mother! And in front of her *pause* CHILDREN! What is the world coming to?"
I put my hand to my forehead and exclaimed, "OH the hypocrisy!" as I fell back in a not-so-convincing "faint".
I was having an "Anne" moment (I saw the Anne of Green Gables movies when I was about 12 years old and fell in love with them. Though I can't imagine why... ;)).

My mom apologized of course; after which she told me to "cut it out" repeatedly.
lol
I was such a little snot. Still am, I suppose. ;)
Oh but it makes me laugh. :)

Back to the Drawing Board

2007-04-06T20:23:00.003-06:00

(I like this one best. Should have stopped while I was ahead! :P)

I haven't drawn or painted in quite some time and it's really pretty sad. I was just looking through some old artwork from several years ago and I think it's a shame that I've let it go for so long.
Fortunately though, it being Easter, I decided to attempt a drawing of the Savior. It turned out alright. Though the eyes are a little off and probably too big. But that's alright - at least I'm giving art another go. :) Hooray!
(I took pictures along the way so I could see where I went wrong when I was finished. Sounds pessimistic but I knew I'd end up with something I'd want to fix. ;)) [The eyes are seriously bugging me. Aaaah! it will never be perfect. :P]

My Weekend...briefly

2007-04-02T02:12:00.000-06:00

My goodness, I just had a most delightful weekend!
It consisted of a jazz concert (which was excellent), a cheap movie (dollar theater), reminiscing with lifelong friend (Rosie and I met when we were about 2 yrs old), a test completed (I think I got an A :)), a three day visit from the one and only Victoria Krites :), a swoony old movie in black and white, a good long talk, General Conference (does this need an addendum? I think not ;)), a free massage, the purchase of delicious produce (what? who wouldn't be happy? :)), clean laundry (ha, yes, this is good news for everyone...:P), a *delicious* meal, time with my family, ice cream sandwiches, beautiful weather, and a walk up to the temple with a very dear friend. :)

(ps the only down-side to the weekend was that Victoria's bus was 2 1/2 hours late tonight; and because of that she missed her transfer in SLC. Fortunately though I have a friend in SLC she can stay with for the night. But lameness indeed. I wouldn't recommend Grayhound if you are wanting to travel in an orderly fashion...)
(pps don't want to end on a bad note - so - I'll just say that I'm really glad I was able to walk up to the temple today. Granted we started from the Marriott center - but it is a thing of progress anyhow. :))

Replay

2007-03-27T02:44:00.002-06:00

Feeling really sick again. My ankles and knees are way better, thank goodness (better meaning I can walk to campus with little to no pain. No dancing yet though. Hopefully soon...).
My tmj is back pretty bad again.
My face is in consistent pain and my hearing is muffled. I also have a very bad sore throat that seems to be un-related. lame.
Anyway, I hope I find a good place to live for spring and summer. I'll probably be with my parents for a month or so. I guess that will be ok.
I might visit Miriam in May. :) I've always wanted to go to New York. That would be fun. Hopefully I can get a tmj doc to help me out, for, (as of right now) traveling by plane is a painful experience (I've discovered that the air pressure changes during lift-off and landing [and some in between] trigger an intense amount of pain in my ears...something about the Eustachian tube. I read it on a medical page somewhere. Anyway, that's what happened last time I flew. ug)
So yeah, I hate travel. I love travel. What are ya gonna do?
call me a whiner?
*shrug*
ok.
Anyway, I'm going to bed.
Take care, ya mugs. ;)

My Kindess Shall Not Depart from Thee

2007-01-28T17:54:00.003-07:00

I feel very blessed today. Sacrament meeting and classes were really wonderful. And were, more importantly, just what I needed. :)

My mortality has become significantly apparent these past 6 months. My weakness, dependence, and my absolute need for a savior has been struggling it's way into my conscience thoughts with every trial. I am stubborn and often immovable. It has taken a lot to make me realize how much I have yet to grow. And there will be a lot more still.
Not to say that I didn't know these things before - I think I just may have taken them for granted.

You don't realize how much you love something until it is taken away. Fortunately, though, you have a much greater appreciation for it once it is returned.
Music, for me, is one of life's most powerful and inspiring forces on the earth (for good or evil).
Some of my most spiritual moments have been through music. Hearing the hymns of Zion are powerful. Singing them, feeling them - internalizing them - have been one of my greatest fortifications since I was a child.
I sang the children's hymns when I was afraid, when I was upset, and when I was happy.
Oh I am so happy. It is so wonderful to think of someone else. To listen and empathize for another. Self-pity is so draining and wasteful. I have never been a good listener. I talk too much.
But I think I'm learning. Marc, my dear friend, has just been talking to me about some of the hard things in life, about trials. But we also talked about how they bring you closer to your family, and to Heavenly Father, who, at one point, this friend did not believe in.

I am grateful for change, for difficult circumstances, for friends, for the human connection, for music, for family, for the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I am more grateful for my mother and father than I think I have been at any other point in my life. My brother Aaron has become one of my best friends. I have gotten to know all of my siblings better. I have come to know myself better.

I am a fearful worrier. I am learning to trust in the Lord. To apply what I've been taught my entire life.
The hymns impress me. They impress my soul with gratitude and wonder. They are poetry of truth and simplicity.

The physical pain I've experienced these last few months has affected me on many levels. It has affected me spiritually and emotionally.
I have been so upset. When I could not use my hands for a few months I still held my "Pollyanna-like" optimism:
"But I still have my feet and my legs; my mind and my voice! Yes, my voice. If there is anything I treasure most, it is the joy of singing."
I didn't think like this in the sense that I was overjoyed that I could sing well (well enough to please me), but that I could sing at all. Singing is my most frequent expression of any emotion - mainly of joy. (In fact, these sentiments were expressed to a friend before I had any pain in my jaw. I could not even imagine having my 'voice' taken away.)
When my jaw became so sensitive that I could not even sing a simple hymn I was overcome with sadness and frustration. How could Heavenly Father take away the thing that I love so dearly? My expression of praise, to Him! On Sundays I would devote much of my day to singing. In the morning I would sing at the local hospital, sharing my testimony through the hymns, and sometimes through the spoken word. This was the highlight of my morning. Afterwards I would go to choir practice, enjoying the opportunity to practice and be in a group that was unified and pleasant. Later in the day, after church, I would often play hymns on my flute or sing them quietly and reflect. A Sabbath without singing just didn't feel like Sabbath.
I became bitter by the thought that I still had the technical ability to sing, but doing so would cause such great pain within several hours that it would be masochistic to even try. During sacrament meeting those around me would open their hymnbooks to me cheerfully; their eyes asking why I did not open my mouth. Too many times my eyes watered and I became spiteful at my own weakness, at being emotional. I would just shake my head and look hard at the pulpit, trying to think of something else.
Some days I would just hold the hymn book and read the words. Which is what I should have been doing all along. But reading the page made me want to try. People would look at me and I could just hear them thinking, "Why doesn't she sing? Why is she so hardened against singing? I thought she liked to sing? What's her problem? She wont even try..." (they probably weren't thinking that extensively into it - but it's hard not to assume judgment some times)
Some days I did try. A meager and weak voice, as if it had forgotten how to project any sound at all. After a verse or two I would often feel the pain start and the realization that it would only grow worse shut my mouth in bitter resignation. Holding back tears with all my might I went to my meetings and watched as the congregation sang, all the while forgetting to listen.
It was not like this every meeting, fortunately. But it happened often enough to bring me to the point of resignation. I would simply smile and shake my head if they offered to share or would simply read the words, with a more thoughtful mean than I'd ever had while singing them.
Before the hymns were all spirit and emotion. I FELT them more than I thought them, which is good. But now I have learned to internalize them in a different way. I have also learned to listen to the voices around me; to appreciate their talents and enjoy the sound of the congregation.
My trials increased and I had to stop dancing and sometimes days passed where I never left my apartment. The walks that I loved became bitter-sweet memories.
But I have not been in constant sorrow. My trials, though seemingly endless in duration, had moments of relief, moments of great reflection, and moments of mercy from my Heavenly Father. The days that I *could* sing, or dance, or write (even for a short while) were so wonderful and joyful that I couldn't help but be grateful, trying my hardest to stamp out the bitterness of their shortness in duration. (And I oft need be reminded that my pains are "but a moment").
I have had time with my family and have learned the love of dependence on their care and help. I am stubborn to receive aid. I don't like being helpless. I hate having to rely on others for something I should be capable of doing myself. But I have learned so much of the love of my family from their sincere prayers and kindness to me. They're not perfect, but they try, and they love me, and I couldn't ask for anything better.
This post is becoming a tome, as Wyatt would say (he often accuses me of wordiness ;)).
I'll leave it at that for now. Below is a link to the lyrics of the song that inspired my reflection today. You should check it out.
:)
My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee

The (not so) Official Way to Crack a Coconut

2006-11-18T14:11:00.000-07:00

I came across this old video of me doing none other than cracking a coconut - with my bare hands! Well, there was a rock involved too, I suppose. :P

It was my 17th birthday and Megan and I were terribly bored. We woke up that morning feeling inspired to do something different. So, while walking down the produce aisle we spotted a delightful array of, you guessed it, coconuts. "Mm, coconut milk -fresh- I wonder what that tastes like." Yes, very silly, I know. But we decided to get one to have along with our breakfasts. :)

We had a heck of a time getting it open though, lol. Not realizing there was a particular method - we reverted to our more natural instincts. Of course this video was shot after Megan had had a go for a few minutes. So I really can't take much credit. ;)

Anyway, enjoy the silliness. Too bad there's no sound. =/

(ps why don't I just add the one of Megan as well!? Of course, of course. Hers is a good deal more amusing anyhow. Hooray! :))

Animal Instincts

Add to My Profile | More Videos

The official way to crack a coconut

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Fry Sauce, And Other Things

2006-11-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

So I think I've been converted to fry sauce - at least, that's what I thought today as I paid an extra 25cents to have some with my french fries. I mean really, ketchup is free, why the fry sauce?
Well, I enjoyed it, for the most part. Afterwards I felt a little sick. But that may have been because I haven't had a hamburger and fries for a while and it was this first thing I'd eaten all day. Better than what I had for dinner last night though, lol, I really need to go to the grocery store.
Despite some of my "lame" circumstances lately, I'm considering staying here in Utah through summer (partly because I don't have a home to go home to...Oh my California!).
I really do like this place. If it weren't for me being sick half the time, I might even start to love it. ;)
---
Today while walking home I saw a guy laughing loudly while listening to his Ipod. Silly man. I laughed a little too though, I mean come on, it's contagious. =)
Oh, speaking of habit forming electronic devices! I hate it when people use headsets or whatever when walking around campus (or even in my apartment, the other night my roommate said "goodnight" after going to bed. The lights were off so of course I said, "goodnight, hope you're feeling better". Then she said something else and I started to continue the conversation when I realized she was on the phone with her boyfriend...geeze.)
---
Another example of such confusion:
La de da, there I am walking along, and a man walks by and says, "hello!" cheerfully. Of course I say hello back. Then he gives me a strange look and keeps talking as he walks by. Now, Really, YOU are the one walking around as if you were talking to yourself and you look at me funny?
The problem with these tiny little cell phones and headsets is that now you can't tell the crazy people apart from those having a real conversation! ("real" meaning there's another person on the other end).
Cell phones are detrimental to society! Ha, the other day a guy was walking by, talking rather quickly, and I thought, "ah, a cell phone man" Then, upon closer inspection, I saw that he had no cell phone and was merely rambling (loudly) to himself. ha
Well, what can ya do eh?

Guess that's all for now.
tschuss
(Oh! PS I signed a petition today for BYU to start recycling bottles and cans...and they gave me a free yo-yo!!!)

Currently reading :
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Narnia)
By C. S. Lewis
Release date: By 24 May, 2005

Shall We Dance?

2006-11-12T00:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, so did I say last weekend was great? Well, this one was better!
Well, maybe not better. :P
But at least just as good. :)

I got up at 6:30 this morning, got ready, and went to DanceSport. So fun! My partner and I made it to callbacks, but only once. (We almost had it too! but we and another couple kind of...collided. Only a little, but it was right in front of a judge. He wrote something down and walked away. After that - Of COURSE we did some of the best dancing we've ever done together. lol. Zut alors! Well, the other couple didn't make it back either...Guess that's kind of mean to say though...)
Well, whatever, it was lots of fun. After we danced we stayed and watched all the other competitions for a while. Then I went home...
and took a nap.
:)
But I went back for the evening competitions. They were SO AMAZING!!! Wow. I saw some fantastic dancers tonight. Ranging from *approx* age 7 to mid 20's. They were competing for national championships? (Or something) Super duper. :)
------
Ok, so at about 9:30, I was a little tired of sitting in a funky little chair and decided to swing by the KMB...for swing kids. of course. =)
Yes, it was fantastic. I danced with some really fun people and I think I'm getting a lot better at following. I danced with this one super amazing guy who will remain anonymous (well, because I can't remember his name, lol) and it was so fun. He was flirty and the most amazing lead I've ever danced with.
GOOD times. Yeah, and then I danced and danced until they kicked us out. =)
A guy from my ward walked me home. That was nice too.
SO! To sum it all up - I have had a great weekend so far and I hope you all have as well!

(ps I had another interactive dream with my alarm clock. =P I was conducting an orchestra (I should note that I've been studying Beethoven in one of my classes) and I was coming towards the finale, I vigorously motioned for a loud 'baaauuum! Baaauuuum BaaaaaaaaaaaaauM!" doesn't sound as cool in writing...anyway, lol, I woke up and realized that the last three notes were actually my alarm clock as it kept bleeping away. :))

K.O.d!

2006-11-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

I got in a fight with a vending machine.
It won.
*scowly face*
Losses: 2 dollars

and I'm still hungry.
=P

vice, et cetera

2006-11-08T23:17:00.000-07:00

"Vice is a monster of so frightful mien,
As, to be hated, needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace."

– Alexander Pope

Ah, I do believe we have desensitized ourselves in so many ways.
*sigh*

"Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself."

-Susanna Wesley

****
I've been enjoying my quietude lately. :) Today I thought to myself, Well now, if everyone could just hear how quiet I am!
They'd all be shocked, I'm sure. ;)

I believe that we all need quiet, solitude, and time for reflection. And fairly frequently at that. Too often there is so much NOISE in our lives!
Cut it out already. Let a little bit of that go to just think. Walk. See. Listen!

I've been enjoying my walks to school and back, and the fact that I am usually alone when I take them. It's nice to abandon conversation for actual thoughts. ;) (and those of you who've heard me ramble on can appreciate what I mean by this.)

I like thinking about life, the universe and everything!
(everything, including bushes. :))
I love this beautiful season. The bright golden leaves, oh I love them!

And there are these fir-tree like bushes along one of the long stairways that have delicate light blue berries popping out all over the place! They are so cheerful. :)

Today as I was walking home from class I let my fingers run over the bushes as I walked along. I walk by them so often! Today I looked at them an thought, "these are really pretty. And they look so, so, texturous!" lol, ok so now I'm making up words. But you know what I mean, eh?
Anyhow, I felt a little sheepish and glanced behind me. Then I decided it was more silly to be worried that someone might see me picking a berry to squish it and see what the inside was like, or stopping midway on the steps to take a deep breath and just look at the trees and mountains in the distance than the actual doing of these things! (which, really, aren't silly at all)

Oh! and my alley, the one that was lined with those glorious red bushes, Well! it retains it's beauty, much to my delight.
However it is now much more subtle. The leaves are mostly all gone. But what is left I still find rather enjoyable. :)
From a distance all I could see were masses of little grayish fingers with a red haze over them. Upon reaching them, however, I was delighted to find they were strewn about with the tiniest, most delicate little red berries! The branches were so tiny and delicate. They were wind blown and growing diagonally downwards on the hill (the alley is a hill, did I mention that?), almost as if they were reaching. It was very romantic.

Anyway,
I've had some other ideas for blogs but I've forgotten them all. Except this one. So I figure, though they may have been entertaining, they must not have been as important.
:)

Staring - rude or rudimentary?

2006-10-24T17:44:00.000-06:00

In my various encounters with the student population here at BYU, I have noticed an occurrence that happens with strange regularity.

As I walk across campus each day, I find it odd (and a little disconcerting) that most passersby will stare, and then smile (and guilelessly at that).

Why do they do this?

I have three hypothesis' as to why this strange phenomena so frequently occurs:
1, my initial reaction is, of course:
Ah, the masses stare because I am "ridiculously good looking" and they are so overcome by this fact that they can't help but smile.
...
However, upon further reflection, this theory becomes unstable as I consider the likelihood that I am not, in fact, "ridiculously good looking".

RIGHT. =)
So, for my next hypothesis:
There is something odd or unusual about my appearance. (I would not doubt that I frequently walk around looking rather silly.)
Perhaps the ribbon of my blouse is caught in the zipper of my sweater; Or my hair is frazzled in some strange contortion from the wind;
Or, more classically, there is perhaps a pieces of toilette paper on my shoe, etc. (you get the idea)

Quite possible.

So I check myself for any visual oddities.
I don't see anything...

On to my 3rd and final hypothesis:

People here are genuinely friendly and like to smile...

Possible?
Quite.

Though I will not abandon my other hypothesis', naturally.

Therefore, my final conclusion, or hypothesis, I suppose - is that each of these possibilities factor in to the staring, smiling, silly (jk) populous that is BYU.
And the only way to gain further information as to the specific reasons for each individual smiler, would be to approach them directly and ask them.

But for this episode of Amy's thoughts and theories - we will leave the specifics a mystery.
* X-Files theme*

*****
In other news, the weather here is bizarre. Within a week's time it has gone from 47 degrees to 68.
coat sweater t-shirt coat sweater t-shirt coat sweater t-shirt
Really, all this indecisiveness is giving me a headache. ;)
---
A few of you have recently asked how I'm doing in the "men's department"
I'm not.

=) Well, I don't do anything in the actual men's department; and I do likewise in the department of men. ya folla?
I have been on more dates here than I have at home. I suppose that's expected. Though I will note that the quality (not to discredit recent dates - they were fun and...nice), ahem the quality, was simply not the same as those from previous escapades. (IE: No chemistry)
---
One thing that I particularly enjoy on my walks home from class is the diversity of languages spoken from point A to point B.
Upon leaving my french class, I will often hear Spanish, Italian, Tongan (I think it was Tongan), French (of course), Japanese, and/or a Slavic language. Of course the building I'm exiting has many foreign lang. classes...but, just being surrounded by the various tongues is exciting.
Wahoo!

Well,
I hope you all are doing splendidly.
Have a great week and don't forget you're p's and q's.
Cheerio

BLOG DISCLAIMER:
The writing of this blog did not make use of any diction assistance program or book, IE thesaurusdotcom. Use of such aids are decidedly reserved for special occasions intended to wow and impress audiences. For such occasions, this "cheating" is deemed acceptable - as it is for the betterment of said audiences and society as a whole. These allowances are entirely acceptable under our present societal system and will not be altered unless Her Supreme Majesty commands.
Thank you.
:)
Ronnie, I hope you are satisfied. ;)

the rambles?

2006-10-23T02:52:00.000-06:00

GRAAAAH!!!
I AM IMMUNE TO PAIN KILLERS!!!!

Which, really, isn't so bad because I don't like taking drugs anyway
BUT, there comes a point in time where it would be nice.
I mean drugs that are prescribed, nothing bad you silly gooses.

Anyway, I have a great big hole in the toe of my sock.
And you know what bothers me about that? Well, it is a brand new sock. YEP, that's right, just bought it. CHEAP
I walked a ton today.
But still, that is no excuse for this sock of mine.
I mean, sure it's a very very thin sock.
But really, it had no right.

What AM I talking about?
Socks?
Ok amy, you've really lost it now. =P
Oh, speaking of losing it...

Once upon about, oh, two weeks ago, I was walking home in the pouring rain, sniffling from my cold and cringing from the ache in my face, ahem, jaw. WHEN! amidst my turmoil and affliction (ooh, I've always wanted to use that phrase), I thought to myself,
"MY goodness it is raining hard. I must look like a drowned rat by now. Oh ho, and the weather report said it would be 37 degrees today. You might catch your death of cold...oh wait! You've already got one of those (the cold that is)! Oh, but you might get an awful headache. NOPE, that's taken care of too.
Well then. Oh my. Looks like things can't get worse at this point. Guess it wouldn't make a difference to wait the shower out and THEN walk home"

YEP, so I kept walking. I really was soaked. Wow. It was kind of fun. I like cold, crisp air.
Anyhow. As I was thinking all these thoughts, I laughed to myself and said,

"my girl, you know what this means?

Why, YOU'RE INVINCIBLE! Oh delightful! I can't imagine having a more excruciating pain (of course that was silly of me to think, but it really did hurt something dreadful) ...and, I've already got a cold...this rain can't hurt me! HO HO, nothing can hurt me. I could do WHATEVER I WANT!!!"

Of course I couldn't actually thing of anything to do that had need for such empowered circumstances as mine...heh.
So I just chuckled one more little laugh and went up the stairs to my complex, walked through my door, waited for my ears to stop feeling like melting ice cubes, sat down on the couch and read a book.
Haven't thought about it since, till now.
Not exactly sure what brought that up. But at the time the idea was rather funny to me.

I don't mean to sound bitter and crabby. I mean, I guess I don't sound that way, I hope not. Because I'm not.
Well, maybe a teense bitter.
I really hate not being able to sing.
Or not eat non-soup food items
(ps sometimes I eat them anyway. AND today I sang a few bars of I got rhythm. What? Oh don't look at me like that. I'm no masochist...)

I say it's time to end this! Here and now!
The blog I mean.
=)
I'll try and get some sleep or something useful like that.
Catch ya later Chuck.

Once Upon a Produce Aisle

2006-10-13T19:54:00.000-06:00

I really like shopping for groceries. The produce section is my favorite. I don't get to go the grocery store very often, but when I do - oh boy do I stock up! =)
Anyhow, Today, which is unlike all the other days, I decided to dress up.

Oh wait, it is like all the other days.
Sort of
Let me es'plain. I have been, "under the weather" shall we say. That being, I have been a bit sloppy and frazzled in appearance. Today I decided, like I have oft done before,

"Well, might as well look good while I'm at it"

ha. Sometimes, when I'm having a particularly bad day, I'm grumpy, sick, or whatever, I decide to dress really nice and at least tell myself things are great. AND! It usually works. =) Optimism is a wonderful antidote to gloominess. ;)
(I'm actually feeling quite a bit better. Just so's you know)

So! I donned my favorite red shirt, black slacks, little red shoes and, well, I made my hair look pretty before walking out the door. (Instead of sticking it in a bun or whatever. You know, I went to school for two weeks rather haggardly and "out of it". A teacher even e-mailed me to ask if I was ok! lol. oh dear. That was nice of her though)

Ahem,
Let's go back to the produce aisle shall we? It was, in fact, the inspiration for this blog.

So, there I was - concern dashed back and forth between my brows and mouth as I pondered the age old question -
What kind of lettuce would be most delicious and nutritious?

(I almost bought spinach. But what about that asbestos (?) scare recently...)
Anyhow, I was probably there a few minutes. I was really pondering. I hadn't even noticed the young gentleman standing next to me, likewise pondering.
"Hello" he says, smiling.
gosh
"hi." *smile*
um, there's the lettuce I want. Ha, I didn't want to seem so preoccupied by the salads. So I picked it up and put it in my cart.
How nice, I thought. I like it when people are friendly. And by people I especially mean good looking young men who buy salad. lol. Though I wish I weren't quite so bashful. *frown*
Well, this story isn't quite over.

*Did I mention that my dear parents took me to this particular grocery store? Well they did. They have transportation you see and were thoughtful enough to take me along*

So, I walked over to the potatoes, cabbage, carrots, etc (What? So I like my vegetables) only a few steps away. We glanced a few flirtatious glances here and there, when suddenly I hear, "Oh Amy, look! Shallots! Remember when we couldn't figure out what those were?"
"Oh yeah, I remember mom"

He walked away.
Le sigh.
Now, There's nothing wrong with what my mom said or the fact that we didn't know what a shallot was...lol
I was only slightly saddened by the fact that my chances of flirting in the grocery store while my parents are there are pretty slim.
Oh dear.

---
Not my best stuff, I know
But it's life eh? It can't be fabulous EVERY day. :)

*Intermission*
We'd like to turn the time over to Tragedy for a brief message:
Good evening everyone. Tragedy Le Moan here, broadcasting from Provo Utah. Tonight we have a heart-wrenching story of the aspiring young vocalist, Amy Holt. Her future career as a vocalist may be dashed to pieces with the recent diagnosis of the dreaded disease, TMJ *SCARY MONSTER FACE*
Recently she has discovered that with each song she sings, the pain in her jaw increases in immense proportions and lasts for several days. The scientific cause is currently unknown. And we are sad to say that she may be withdrawing from her current vocal lessons.
This is indeed a tragedy. We will keep you posted on future events with this matter.
Thank you for your time.
For more information go to www.amycantsing.com

***
Ok, back to the real world. Er, I mean, Amy's magical blog-land.
So I love having secret places of delight. You know, like a little corner of the world that is secluded, quiet, and beautiful. Well, recently, it was the path on the way to my voice class. About a month ago this was merely a little back alley on the side of campus with some large bushes and a little set of stairs. Nothing much really.

But! about two weeks ago I turned the corner to my little path and was astounded by the brilliancy of the color RED, everywhere! It was gorgeous. All the bushes were now covered with deep red leaves. I couldn't believe how rich and beautiful its color was. The whole walkway was lined with Bright red and green.
Last week it was all gone. I was so surprised. How quickly nature changes.
I like it though.
Neat, isn't it?

Well, I've got to be going. Take it easy folks. :)

World is on Fire

2006-10-12T02:01:00.000-06:00

Great video. Way to go Sarah Mac

A Dangerous Mind

2006-10-10T02:04:00.000-06:00

My subconscious Strikes again!
And! It's getting smarter...trying new tactics to prolong my dreamful sleeps. Lies, deceit, attractive young men.
What will be next!?
So, for this episode of Amy's dangerous mind, We will see that temptations reach us even in our dreams:
****
It was 10am and the alarm clock bleeped several horrible bleeps. "OH I am sick" I thought, moaningly, "And...I don't have class till 12..." *WHAP*

10 minutes later
...the alarm clock bleeped several horrible bleeps. "OH I am sick" I thought, moaningly, "And...I don't have class till 12..." *WHAP*

10 minutes later
...the alarm clock bleeped several horrible bleeps. "OH I am sick" I thought, moaningly, "AND...I don't have class till 12..." *WHAP*
...

Well, you get the idea. Anyhow, I finally shut the darned thing off. I was having a series of very odd dreams AND I figured, "Well, my class doesn't start till twelve; there's no way I'll sleep that long..."

And like a bad horror movie, you are all shaking your heads saying, "NO no! It's going to happen you fool! Listen to your instincts! Everyone knows whats going to happen to you...oh oh, foolish girl, foolish girl!"

Ok, well, that sounded better in my head.
BUT! On to the story!

So, several things happened before this - but this is where I began to remember...

I was walking around campus somewhere and realized that I was going to be late for class. "Oh me. Oh my! My class starts in but ten minutes and it is at least a fifteen minute walk! What shall I do? Hurry! Today; is the exam review. I missed last class because of my...*cough cough* Terrrrible illness" (sometimes my dreams are a little melodramatic. ;))

I began to walk briskly out of the building. Suddenly, a rather dashing young man approached me (quite the stranger, mind you) and began to flirt with me. I apologized and told him I absolutely HAD to get to my class. I was walking rather sleepily because, of course, I was rather sleepy at the time (I was going in and out of sleep you see, in real life). He nobly takes my arm and walks me to the elevator,

"Here we are my dear. The stairs would be too much for you at this time, I'm sure".

As the elevator doors opened, we could see the that the platform had strangely not dropped quite to our level. It was about a foot higher than it should have been. He climbed in and then I stepped up. But as I was half way up the doors closed and the elevator ascended.
BLAST! I fell and fell and fell. He looked out of the open elevator (I'm not sure how he could see below him but he could) with an expression of horror (it was very convincing actually. He'd make a great actor I'm sure).

Fortunately, however, I landed back on the floor where we entered the elevator. The doors had remained open and I just landed, right there, at the entrance, in a distorted lump. I began to fall asleep - in the dream itself I was falling asleep.
A few moments later the young man was at my side trying to convince me that we'd have a lot more fun if I woke up. ha! (For those of you that know about the Indian boy - there are some striking similarities. For those of you who don't, "scandal" is not the word you're looking for...Rather, absurdly amusing. Sorry, I just *don't* have the time to explain)

Ahem. I was back on my feet and he was being almost *too* charming.
Suspicious. Maybe he's not really a prince charming/mr. Darcy/what have you - at least he wasn't of good intent I suspected (I just watched a Bollywood movie last night where this girl is daydreaming, via music video, about this guy and he sings to her, "You are blissfully naive" as he charms her. lol.)

He motions to my right and says, "Look at this charming path, shall we take a walk? I'm sure your class isn't SO very important" There was, for some odd reason, a wooded path in place of where there should have been a wall. It went in to a deep Forrest (Megsy it reminds me a lot of the paths at Saint Mary's, but it went into thicker woods). He took my hand and started to talk about very pleasant, good, things. I thought, "my this is very, very nice." Then, alas, I remember my class. "Oh dear, I'm very sorry, but I have just got to go"
(ps I'm not exactly sure why my dreams are often very British sounding. Could it be that I exclusively read British lit?)
I triumphantly turned away from him and looked dramatically back towards campus
and then promptly

woke up.

Aha! I sat up in bed - "I have conquered! Silly subconscious mind! Thinking I could be swayed by a mere boy! Oh your follies will be proved time and time again! How triumphant I am! How absoll. aou....aoiulwke....*snooze*

back to sleepland I go.
this time I was selling magazines in a shop (the paper kind of course. What on earth would I be doing selling ammunition?)
I began discussing poorly illustrated calendars for some reason and then.
BAM!
I remembered yet again. My co-worker tried to talk me into staying.
"No no no! I have to get to my class! I've missed far too many classes lately. And really, in the words of the English peasant, "I'm feeling much better". :)

And there we have it ladies and gentlemen. I woke up then and there.

Unfortunately however, when I looked at the clock it was 11:56.
I was only ten or so minutes late to class.
But I smiled much of the way wondering, "what will I dream up next"?

(ps I've been reading the poetry of John Donne. I like it. You should try him out)

Yes, I'd Like That With a Boost of Tryptophan Please

2006-10-04T23:21:00.000-06:00

Tonight was a great swing kids!
So much fun! I've missed more than a month's worth of em...but glad I went back.
Hooray!

In other news, I was reading about tryptophan the other day. Yes, that's right, tryptophan - not only found in turkey, by the way. I saw a list of other foods that have tryptophan in them and these foods, in theory, make you a little sleepy.
Bananas and milk were on that list, among other things.
Now, my quandary is, tonight I made a chocolate banana milkshake.

Is that like mixing uppers and downers?
(ha)
I mean really. I don't need a lot of caffeine to wake me up or make me silly because I'm not used to it.
And if milk and bananas make you sleepy...
what does it mean!?

=P
I suppose it will all just balance itself out.
If not, and I turn into a psycho chocolate banana milkshake addict - I'll let you know.

mmm, MSG.

Dreamful Sleeps

2006-09-21T22:35:00.000-06:00

So I've discovered that my dreams can be very convincing - as well as dangerous. Last night I dreamt that an assignment I had was extended till next Monday.

It's not. It's due today. And the plan was that I get up early today and get to the library to watch a film (that's last showing is at 10am), do the assignment, and all is well. In my dream, however, I went to my computer to check blackboard and it, rather convincingly (ha), told me I had until Monday to finish all my stuff (HW & tests). I was rather excited, "Hooray! I get to sleep in!"
haha, Fortunately I woke up in time to check the times (for real) and see that I was only fooling myself. So I've come to the conclusion that either:

1) my subconscious hates me and likes to play tricks on me,
or
2) it's very naive and thinks that telling me I get extra sleep when I don't is ok...

=) Well, that was all. I get to go to the library! Hip hip hurrah!

Water Water Everywhere But Not A Drop To Drink.

2006-09-20T20:36:00.000-06:00

"Oh ho ho...the good times are over"
Well, maybe not entirely. But I sure do miss CalifLornia. =(
It snowed today.
I went shopping today.
I hate shopping. I really hate it. It makes me grumpy.
***
I have a sad tale to tell. You may find it trivial, but to me, it is very
very
sad.
---
Once upon a time Amy wanted a winter coat. She had none. She decided that she would ask for a pea coat for Christmas. Alas, the coat did not come. Amy had a grandmother, as most girls do. This grandmother heard of Amy's wish for a lovely coat. She went to her dusty closet and thumbed through her sweaters with her shaky old hands. There it was -The coat of many, uh, fibers.

She brought it into the living room and gently laid it on the couch. She approached her granddaughter, "I heard you wanted a coat...I've got one you might like. It's really really old so I understand if you..."
"Oh no! Let me see it, please!"

It was beautiful. Navy Blue, knee length, double breasted with silver buttons and blue belt. The buttons had little anchors on them. It was charming. Amy's eye's sparkled with delight (ok, so it's a story...and I'm not a writer, bear with me ). She tried it on. "It fits!" Grandpa wandered into the room and squinted, "Well, you look pretty."

Grandma smiled, "I bought that when I was nineteen, right before I married Grandpa. Haven't had a nice coat since...the old..."
Grandpa, who's deaf in one ear shouts, "WHAT'S THAT LOIS? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT" "Oh nothing," she replies sarcastically. (goodness, grandma)
Grandpa grumbles off...

Amy was thrilled. As they left the house her grandma asked her again, "Do you really like it? I mean, it's so old fashioned. And it's 100% wool so you'll have to be sure to have it dry cleaned...and, well, the lining is a little undone..."

"It's perfect. Better than anything I could have ever wished for," she answered, smiling.

---
So, I wore the coat whenever I had the chance. I'd have to say it's the most wonderful article of clothing I've ever owned. Well, in my opinion. A coat is a coat, but this coat was different. *shrug* Maybe you don't understand. I don't quite understand it. I mean, I guess I shouldn't be embracing materialism...
Pish posh! I am perfectly justified. Materialism...ho ho ho.

Oh? You say I haven't said anything sad yet? Oh yes, how could I forget the conclusion of my tale!

In California the coat wasn't terribly necessary, as I'm sure you can imagine. It was cold enough in December and January...but, well, you know. I was terribly excited to be able to wear it in the snow in Utah. It's my Sunday coat you know. =) Well, yesterday it was very, very, cold. I needed to walk up on campus but didn't have any warm jackets or coats with me. They were all up at my parent's house (they brought them up when they moved). My dear brother Aaron brought it by for me while he was running some errands.

Oh delight! I held it up and then put it on.

Alas! What is this!?
The sleeves, they are so tight! So short! *terror* What has happened!? The sleeves were 6? or so inches shorter. I couldn't hide that much space with a pair of gloves.
It had been washed...in a washing machine.
I tried to pretend like it still fit, heh. But it was useless.
I cried.

Is that too ridiculous? I tried to tell myself that. But no, I cried. I was very very sad. I am still sad.
I'm not trying to glean sympathy from you all or anything like that. It just helps to write it down. I dunno. It just does.
So the coat is, well, unusable to me. I might put it in my hope-chest. I had the thought of selling it on e-bay or somewhere like that because it's valuable...because it's vintage...and lovely. But maybe my perception of it is skewed because I just love it so much. Anyhow, I don't think I could do that. Whatever. (Jenni, it would probably fit you perfectly...maybe we can work out an arrangement.)

The reason I went shopping today was to buy a new coat. Clothes are so blasted expensive. At least, clothes that fit nicely or are pretty or anything. again, whatever. I didn't buy anything. I might go back and buy a plain black pea coat. Those are nice. I like them. I don't have $200 to spend on a coat - which is why I didn't buy one today. I think my dad will help me though.
My poor mom. She feels really bad for washing the coat. Too bad some things can't be undone.
heh. I'm talking about an inanimate object here. :P

I think it would be easier if my friends, you guys, were here. I mean, in general. The fact that I'm dwelling on this coat bugs me. (I've the the rambles today!)

Gosh I miss you guys so much. There are so many people here, and yet I know hardly anyone!

The mountains are breathtaking right now, topped with fresh snow. It's really beautiful. But I'm starting not to care; which worries me. I love beautiful things. I love all beautiful things. I love my beautiful friends (you guys are so beautiful :)).

But then again, there are good people here. :) A few people from my ward stopped by last night when I was home alone and we talked for a while. It was nice. I even started acting like myself. That was nice. I've been so quiet lately that I almost feel like I'm losing myself. That's not true. But I do really enjoy having "real" conversations with people. Just being comfortable, being able to talk about things, big things, little things. Anything.

Anyway, I bought a Jeff Buckley cd today. :) Sweet. I also got this wonderful cd by an African artist named Youssou N'Dour. The cd is a mix of African/Islamic/Egyptian music. I really like it. It's refreshing. Barnes and Noble is one of my favorite places. :) Just walking in there I felt comfortable. It kind of made me think of Christmas. =P The music was nice and mellow and there were books EVERYWHERE. I mean, of course, it's a bookstore...duh. :P

Well, I think that's all I have to say for now. I'll try and have something more uplifting next time.
Adieu!

(PS my *whatever* that's wrong with my hands has relapsed recently. Hooray! I can write again!)

Hip Hip Hooray!

2006-09-12T01:21:00.001-06:00

I've just been itching to write a blog! Geeze. My Internets been down for over two weeks now in my apartment. How lame is that!? The guys in the office aren't very helpful either...

Anyhow! I sure would like to go on an adventure! (Ronnie's blog is partly to blame for that ;) I haven't been camping in quite a while. I need some fresh air. This smog is kinda gross.

I just got the weirdest hankering for some grapes. Hm. Odd.

*Ahem* Where was I?
OH, conversely, maybe I just want to visit the city. I miss San Fransisco. I like going there in the fall. Once when I was there I got to watch part of an Indian wedding from a Starbucks window. It was so awesome. I had a hot carmel apple cider and this amazing little coffee cake (it had pistachios on it!). I was just sitting on a bar-stool by a long window facing an alley way between the Starbucks and the Palace Hotel. There they came! All kinds of festively dressed Indians =) Drummers in the front, women dancing in brightly colored gowns with lots of sparkling gold jewelry, and in the midst of them there was the groom, finely dressed, atop a white, decorated horse! It was quite the spectacle. =)

Suppose I won't be seeing much of that here in Provo. ;) I have had a bit of culture here though, lol, for example:
I went to a ward activity with my parents ward and while I was going down the "casserole assembly line", I witnessed two 14(?) yr old boys that were fighting over who's mom made the green jello salad with bits of fruit(?) in it. I had to stifle my laughter. It was too great.

"Alllright!" The first boy says excitedly, "My mom's salad!" *dishes it on his plate*
Boy number two, "What? No, that's MY mom's jello salad."
"Whatever, my mom makes it with the *blankety blanks...can't remember*...and that's OUR dish, see!"
"NO, my mom made that, I saw her...*dishes some on* And that's OUR plate *picks it up and looks on bottom* Jorgenson, SEE"

ahahaha. =) Well, that was fun. I got a kick out of it anyways.

The mountains are starting to turn orange! It's so neat.

I want to see the world oh so badly! I want to go everywhere. I want to meet people of all different backgrounds. Talk with them, eat with them, laugh with them, enjoy this beautiful earth with them! I want to go to South America, Africa, China, Russia, Iran, Turkey, China, Australia, Italy, Spain....ok, you get the picture. *laugh* =)
But it's so expensive. =(
Hmm, Someday, I will HAVE to make it possible. And someday meaning before I'm old and wrinkly...or even before I'm moderately old and wrinkly. How about within the next five years? Ok? Make sure I go to at least one of these places before five years is up. Bueno? Comprende? =P

*****
Did you know that Utah is famous for their ice-cream? It's pretty good. But I'd prefer some chocolate Gelato right about now. =) Megan, have yourself a serving on my behalf will ya?
Delish.
ha
Oh, if you're not tired of reading yet *ha*, this is a funny little story my brother showed me the other day:
http://www1.asknlearn.com/ri_Ilearning/English/631/elang-ilearning/page3a.htm

Yay.
So, I think I need to end this, here and now!
*smile*
Goodnight all...or is it

Good morning?

Oh oh, one last thing, it's funny...well, to me.
So, the other day my roommate told me that that night...er, at 3am, she woke up because her cell phone was buzzing next to her. Upon waking she heard laughter...MY laughter, bwahaha...ok, Well actually she said it was a jolly laugh. Anyhow, she's a bit confused and says, "Amy, what's so funny?" I just kept laughing.
She walked over to me and I was completely asleep. I laughed a few more good laughs and then was totally silent.

How awesome is that?
lol. Now I really want to know what I was dreaming about. Apparently my subconscious life is a heck of a lot more entertaining than my conscious one...Dangit.
:)
Ok, farewell friends.
"Have a GREAT week!"

Of Men and Dogs

2006-08-16T22:02:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time I was having a conversation on the topic: "men and dogs." A particular fellow and I were discussing the well known phrase "man's best friend," of course referring to dogs.

Of the conversation, this is what I most specifically remember, *ahem*:

Boy: That's what you think guys are like? Ha, that's funny. And you want to get married?

Girl: Of course

...

Later:

B: But why don't you like dogs?

G: Because they're hairy, they smell, and they slobber all over you.

B: How's that any different than a guy?

...

lol, ya got me there.

Gross.

Just kidding (My apologies to all you gentlemen out there).

Well, it was pretty funny. I have decided though, that when I do get married, my husband's best friend is not going to be a scruffy canine. I will be his best friend. Now doesn't that sound a good deal nicer?

lol

In other news, I had a final this morning at 7am. Have mercy. I didn't fall asleep till after two. Le sigh. I think I passed though. Oh! Speaking of sighing - the guy next to me during the test was sighing like no other! Now, I know that I can be rather sighy and sometimes will do a few in a row, but this guy was goin' for a while! Either he ran to class and never caught his breath and was trying to make up for it, OR, he was really distressed about our final. Heh, he made me smile though. I like a little comic relief during a test. =)

Have you seen my bifocals?

2006-08-08T03:12:00.000-06:00

My vision is failing, my hands are aching, my roommate is snoring, and I can't blasted sleep!

Any suggestions? Ah, I thought not! Useless, all of you! Especially those of you who text me without pity, *ahem* CHAD:

"ha, You're crazy"

yes yes. =P I'm crazy in need of an optometrist! And some ear plugs...or something.

Will somebody tell me a story? I really need a good story. Something clever perhaps. No, you know what, I don't even care. My standards are completely lax. Just make sure it has a beginning, middle, and an end. And a decent plot is preferable. But that may be asking too much.

Either way, please contact me in some way before my brain s'plodes and I die from lack of human interaction. It doesn't have to be right now of course. I do realize it's after 2 am. Just whenever, whenever you darn well please.

Would this be considered rambling yet? I bet it is.

You know this morning I was so proud of myself for getting out the door in time to get to class early. About halfway to class though I realized that I had forgotten my notebook - which is essential for taking notes. *sigh*

About five minutes before I left for my evening class a storm blew in with 60mph winds. No joke. It was on the news even. Of course the rain stopped a few minutes after I got to class. So the whole 15 minutes walking up there I got to enjoy the wonders of nature all around me.

Do you like green olives? I am pretty partial to a nice big green olive, with a pimento of course. That's like the cherry on the cake. Except...it's the pimento, on the olive. Anyhow, I bought a jar of nice big green olives today (big spender, I know) and I do find some small delight in the thought of opening it tomorrow. A little after class hourderve (I'll bet you $3.42 I spelled that wrong. What? That's all I got)

I should probably stop. I think the expression on my face (refer to photograph) manages to express any further thoughts I have at the present time.

For questions that I probably don't have the answers to, Please dial: 1 800 INSOMNIA

Oh yeah, And NO paint doodle!

...

Well, on second thought, yeah, ok.

Have you a wing?

2006-07-18T22:18:00.001-06:00

Goodness, I feel like I'm in a perpetual interview here! I have a hard enough time getting work done as it is. Perhaps wearing my silver band on my ring finger isn't such a bad idea. I had my ctr ring (a fancy silver one) on that finger the other day and a guy stopped mid conversation and asked, "is that an engagement ring?"..."er, what? Oh, no, ctr..." Then he laughed kind of awkwardly and joked about how it would have been weird if it was..."See ya later" he says jokingly. Good gravy, are you kidding?

Anyhow, have I mentioned how beautiful it is here? I took a detour on my walk home the other day just to soak in the beauty of this campus. You know it's the best landscaped campus in the nation (at least, that's what I hear...)? There are a lot of lovely trees and plants around some of the buildings that I pass each morning. And I came across this walkway with ivy all on the sides. The were great shafts of sunlight shining through the spaces between the nearby pillars. Maybe I stood there a moment too long...I think I'm a teense sun burnt. ;) But it was lovely none the less.

Good news! My hands are strangely feeling much better. Perhaps it's because I hardly used them this past week. It was very strange. Sometimes the pain in my wrists was so intense that I'd feel weak and fatigued all over. I should probably still see a doctor to see if it is, in fact, arthritis. But the pain is so minimal now that maybe I'll just wait till it comes back...lol, probably not the wisest solution, but likely as to what I'll actually do.

Um. That's all.

Don't Forget Oma and Opa!

2006-07-09T13:04:00.000-06:00

Children viewing negative stereotype of older people on cartoons, new BYU study says

The study showed that characters older than 55 were portrayed negatively 38 percent of the time.

Preschoolers watching children's television programs are viewing negative stereotypes of older people that could bias youth attitudes toward the elderly, according to a Brigham Young University study in the new issue of the Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media.

"With just under 40 percent of older cartoon characters having negative portrayals, stereotyping is still an ongoing problem," said Tom Robinson, associate professor of communications and lead author on the article.

In the study, characters that appeared to be older than 55 were portrayed negatively 38 percent of the time. Some characters were depicted as angry, senile and crazy; others were shown to be wrinkled, ugly and overweight. Although most older characters had minor roles in the programs' story lines, some roles emphasized these stereotypes. In one program an older teacher turned into a pinata, and children beat and broke her open. Other older characters in other programs played the roles of villain, the grim reaper and zombies.

Robinson monitored animated programs from ABC, FOX, WB, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. Episodes were recorded from Saturday morning children's programming, after-school weekday programming and children's broadcasts. His research team conducted a content analysis, scanning for older characters and classifying their personality traits, physical appearance and general portrayal as positive or negative. Robinson and his team analyzed nine hours of videotape from each network for a total of 45 hours. They evaluated 1,356 total characters, of which 107 were older characters.

Robinson and co-author Caitlin Anderson, who was a BYU graduate student at the time of the research, also recognized that some cultures the Japanese and some American Indian cultures, for example respect and revere the older generation for their experience and wisdom. Robinson said this is not the prevailing attitude in the United States, and the media portrayal of older people is due in part to these negative sentiments. Citing the lead character on Disney Channel's "Kim Possible," Robinson noted Kim's attitude about her grandmother: "She's just so old, like she's from another planet."

"These stereotypes, when learned at a young age, have a lasting impact," Robinson said. "We don't want to raise a generation fearful of growing old, or have these children rise to positions of influence and power only to dismiss the older age group because of these stereotypes."

Study Links Blood Pressure and Loneliness

By Christa Hunter - 30 Mar 2006

E-mail or Print this story

While most people attribute high blood pressure to fatty foods and smoking, a recent study suggests loneliness may be to blame.

Blood pressure readings for elderly people who are lonely are as much as 30 points higher than readings for non-lonely people, according to a study done at the University of Chicago. Loneliness is a primary factor in raising blood pressure in elderly people, which could lead to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

If you look at the effect size of smoking, the results arent that different, said BYU psychology professor Patrick Steffen. Social variables are just as important as not smoking.

At any point in time, 20 percent of Americas population might feel lonely, said University of Chicago scientist Louise Hawkley, the studys leading author.

Hawkley and her team studied 229 people aged 50 to 68. Among this randomly selected group were African Americans, whites and Latinos. Members of this group were each given a survey to determine the degree to which they feel lonely. They were asked to evaluate their peer relationships through a series of statements such as, My social relationships are superficial, or I have a lot in common with the people around me.

The research team took into account factors such as weight and alcohol consumption. They found that people who rated high for loneliness had a significantly higher blood pressure than non-lonely people with similar profiles.

They also looked at stress as an indicator for loneliness. Hawkley said people who are lonely tend to handle stress differently than non-lonely people.

Loneliness may dispose people to handle their everyday events differently, she said. They feel more threatened, overwhelmed, and avoid dealing with it, which makes the stress last longer.

Having friendships and positive relationships may reduce stress, Steffen said. Positive relationships lead to feeling good about yourself and others.

It is common knowledge that we all need a friend, Hawkley said. But it actually has implications on your physical health.

Whether social relationships are directly linked to high blood pressure is still unknown. Hawkley said many people are genetically predisposed to be lonely, regardless of their social relationships.

However, according to Salt Lake psychologist Dr. Lynn Johnson, loneliness is not a permanent trait. He said there are two things anyone can do to reduce loneliness smile at people and use peoples names during conversation.

It is very painful and unpleasant to be lonely, Johnson said. Its not good for people to be alone, its just not.

Results from this study have only opened up more questions as to why loneliness causes high blood pressure. Hawkley said she and her team will analyze data from this study, every subsequent year for the next five years, to determine exactly how loneliness affects the body.

**Visit the elderly, your grandparents, somebody that needs you! Do something! =)**

A bicycle for two?

2006-06-29T21:33:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone! Here's a brief passing note just to say hi and that I'm still alive. ;)
Thanks for those of you who've sent messages or called. =) It's good to hear from you! I love it here. The campus is SO beautiful - and the mountains! Oh the mountains. They are really lovely. =) People here are great. My classes are hard, but great. I don't really have friends yet, lol, well I kind of have a few, but you know, it takes a little time (for me at least, as you know...)

I almost got hit by a bicyclist today (well, not quite. He came up behind me and scared me and I *thought* he might hit me - but I'm sure he was in full control of the vehicle) Anyhow, then I had this silly thought that it would be comical, yet romantic, if I were to meet my future...um, somebody, after having been knocked over by a reckless bicyclist.

Can't you see it? Girl gets knocked over by boy on bike. Girl gets hurt and boy apologizes profusely while tripping over his bike. Boy tries to stop girl's bleeding. Girl glares at boy...
It's the start of a beautiful relationship.

haha, just kidding. Ok, I haven't gone soft, don't worry folks. ;)
The story did play through my head though as I walked home. After a few minutes I realized I still had a big goofy grin on my face and decided to remove it directly. I just hate looking silly.
HA.
=P
:)

Ok, well, there's my silly thought for today. I've been grinning a lot lately (when I'm not thinking of missing all you folks of course. ;)) and I quite enjoy it. Though I've decided I ought to be careful or suspicions will arise - I may be contacted by the BYU police for my odd behaviour. =P
Though, I could use a little excitement in my life...

*Grin*
Ta ta then folks,
Adios!

Delicious

2006-06-07T00:08:00.000-06:00

So I have been in the cooking mood lately. Today I made spanakopita - My favorite appetizer when I get Greek food. =) Delicious. I just sent the recipe to someone who asked me for it and decided that since I took the trouble to type it all out, I might as well share it with everyone. =) Hooray.

Though, now you will all see how much more of a nerd I am. I'd like to say I add a bit of extra "geek" to all my hobbies. I even listed the nutrition information...
*grin* I love food.

Ok so here it is:

Spanakopita Triangles
makes 8 servings

1 (10 oz) box frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
2/3 cup crumbled reduced-fat feta cheese
(I didn't use reduced fat - this is from a weight watchers cook book. Though I'm sure the difference in taste is minimal)
3 scallions, chopped (so I didn't know these were green onions and went to the grocery store looking for them. Turns out I already had three at home. Go figure. =P)
1 large egg white
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh dill,
or 3/4 tablespoon dried
1/4 tsp freshly ground pepper
8 (12 x17inch) sheets phyllo dough, room temperature(It took me a while to find these but they have them at Raleys (Fillo dough - same thing. Also, they did not have the right size but that was fine. You can still fold them the same, they'll just be a little smaller or a little larger. Also, the sheets are really fragile and break easy - just to worn you. My first one crumbled up =/)
2 tablespoons olive oil

******
1. Place the oven rack in the center of the oven; preheat the oven to 375. Spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray.
2. Press the spinach between layers of paper towels to remove any excess moisture. Place the cheese in a medium bowl and mash with a fork. Add the spinach, scallions, egg white, dill, and pepper; stir together until combined.
3. Set the stack of phyllo sheets to one side; keep covered with a sheet of wax paper and a damp towel on top as you work.(I accidentally put the damp towel on the actual sheets - Not good. It makes them doughy and they break when you lift them)
4. Lay 1 phyllo sheet lengthwise in front of you and brush the sheet lightly with oil. Top with another sheet and brush lightly with oil. Cut crosswise into 6 even strips (When I tried to cut it with a knife it didn't work very well. I tore the sheets into three pieces and they broke less than when using the knife. For smaller ones divide them again, into six)Place a scant tablespoon of the spinach mixture at the end of each strip. Fold one corner up over the filling, then continue folding in a flag fashion, to form a triangle (that's the fun part =)). Place on baking sheet and repeat with the remaining filling and phyllo sheets to make 24 triangles. Brush the tops of the triangles lightly with any remaining oil.
5. Bake until golden brown, about 25 minutes. Cool for five minutes and serve hot or warm

Enjoy =)

(p.s. A serving is three triangles:112 cal, 5 g fat, 11mg chol, 223 mg sod, 12 g carb, 1 g fiber, 4 g protien, 103 g calc.I think it's cool they have the nutrition facts for every recipe. =))
************
On a different subject, I found this article (rather, my mom found it for me, ha) about changing sleep patterns - something (as some of you well know) that is a challenge for me ;) (Ah Seminary Victoria...don't you remember it...)
Anyhow, here's the article if any are interested:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/05/how-to-become-an-early-riser/

If you are laughing at me for my trivial posts, fine. But I am going to be well rested and well fed and you will just be...
er

laughing.
Ok, well that's good too. As long as we're all happy.
Adios then amigos!

Unfinished Thoughts on Criticism and Desensitization

2006-05-28T03:02:00.000-06:00

I'm making Borscht for dinner. =) (And Rosemary pork roast too, yum)
I went to the grocery store today and bought all kinds of yummy vegetables. It was fun. I hope I'll have the time (and means) to cook delicious food while I'm at school. Hm, I really don't want to end up eating ramen and frozen burritos daily. Just imagining such a thing makes me swoon with worry. ha, ok, perhaps not. But it is a concern for my cultured palate (ha).

Ok. So last night I was thinking about....*drumroll*

Criticism

So, self criticism and criticism of others = destructive. Constructive criticism can be vital and helpful on the right occasion. Sometimes, however, I think that we may be overly critical of others; to the point where it becomes a rather ill habit - where we lose our sensitivity as to what is constructive and what is not. At which point we may become caught in a trend of repeatedly offending others by dwelling on their trivial, insignificant flaws. Or, even significant flaws that are not necessarily intended for the observer to point out - there is a pretty good likelihood that person is already aware of their shortcomings.
(ps. sensitivity is attractive. Not over-sensitivity or femininity (in my case anyway) - Sensitivity. This is something that I didn't figure out for a long time.)

Am I making sense? I will try to clarify as I go on. These thoughts were more clear last night, I think, heh, and I'm trying really hard to remember the most profound ideas I came up with. Though at the moment I'm at a loss...

Anyhow, moving on.
Critism (of any kind), is related the concept of being "brutally honest". I've come to find that brutal honesty may be, on particular occasions, of great importance to getting something across to someone where they otherwise would not have had a clue (generally this applies to guys...in my experience at least. Though girls and guys are both sensitive and I don't want to imply any bias). But this kind of honesty can also be very destructive (in the same way that criticism can be).

There is no need to be DIShonest, by any means. I full-heartedly believe in honesty and being straight forward - But there is a line that must be drawn between being honest and pointing out unnecessary or negative information (to yourself or others). Sometimes I find that line to be hard to define.
(Ah *tact*, perhaps that's the magic ingredient to solve all my problems. If you have any to spare I'd be willing to trade you for some freshly cooked borscht *smiles hopefully*)

On a similar vein (I think this is what made me think up these thoughts to begin with. Along with a great talk given at Stake Conference yesterday by Elder Jensen =)) Er, too much parentheses,
*ahem*
ON a similar vein, =), I have a little story to share that brought up some of these thoughts regarding criticism and lack of tact.

I was recalling my ill choice of humor that I picked up somewhere in elementary school. I think I was a bit more clever than a few of my friends and discovered that this quality could be used to entertain and promote *cringe* popularity. Now, this in itself is not a problem, except for the fact that my originally well meant humor began to twist into a more mean natured beast - I got laughs at the expense of others. I didn't do it often, and, actually, I only told these jokes to one person...

Let me go back a little. In the third grade I became friends with a girl we will call Stella. Stella and I were "Best Friends" in no time. We did everything together. In the fourth grade, Stella rapidly grew in popularity and became the "most popular" girl in school (it's even in the yearbook, heh).

Ok, anyway, despite her growing popularity, we still retained our strong friendship.
Right. So, along with adapting to Stella's new group of friends, I found it difficult to keep up with their fashion, gossip, and sometimes mean-spirited games. On occasion we would be joking around with some kids and if I thought of something clever, I would whisper it into Stella's ear. Sometimes she would just laugh quietly with me. But one day, she announced my comment to the rest of the class. The response was magnificent. They were roaring with laughter. Of course she credited the wit as her own. The next time I whispered a little quip in her ear it was about a girl that we didn't much like; who was rude to just about everyone...but was also, unfortunately, picked on frequently. The thought didn't occur to me that Stella would repeat my comment as she had before.

Well, she did. And the result was as "good" as it had been before. The other girls laughed - except of course she who was the brunt of the joke. She became very angry and started shouting at us. Her friend, I think her only friend, approached Stella angrily and told her to leave this girl alone.
Stella responded casually with, "Well don't get mad at me. Amy's the one that said it."

The teased girl overheard and looked at me, hurt and surprised. I had never joined in the teasing before that day. In fact, I had often talked to her after school or changed the subject when she became its focus. I had become the bully. I let popularity win over sensitivity.
It was only a joke, wasn't it? Of course not. I used my wit in a most dreadful and shameful way.
What is it that can make children so cruel?

I did not apologize to her till years later. Though I doubt that was much to heal the scars that were left with her from those early school years.

This is just one example of allowing criticism, humor, and the desire to please others, desensitize us to the feelings of others, as well as the presence of the spirit. We live in a very cynical age. Cynicism is disgustingly popular. I cringe when I think of all the times I have rationalized it into my thought process. If we

Blast, I'm sorry, there is a distraction. I'm getting very bad about this. But you get the general point, no? It's late and I'll have to try using my brain some other time. ;)

My Latest Conquest!

2006-05-03T22:06:00.000-06:00

So I've been having a bit of an experience cleaning my room. An experience, you say? Yes indeed. It is only now, since I have inhabited it on my own for these three years, after my sisters departure (er, marriage), that I will fully cleanse it inside and out. Or, rather, tear it apart and get rid of lots of old junk.

=)

This room has been lived by either me or my sister for the past...oh, 20 years, give or take. And it's got zounds of stuff in it. It's amazing. Anyhow, today I've been going into the deep dark places of said room (behind bookshelves, under the bed, under desks, back of the closet and behind the dresser in the hall, yes, I have a hall in my room. Exciting, isn't it...you get the idea) anyway, it's been kind of interesting.

So, in just an hour of cleaning! I've found...

The curs-ed confetti, which, though most of it is centrally located; much of it has been seen randomly floating around on bookshelves, in purses, in coat pockets, in dreams, on missionary apartment floors (causing much trepidation), and most recently, on the collar of my brand new shirt purchased only yesterday. How it manages to make its way to all these places - the world will never know.
=P

Also, I found a $15 gift card for Target that I lost a few years ago. haha. I looked up the number online and it's still good! Woo, go me! It says it's from 2002. I remember being annoyed when I lost it. It fell behind my corner bookshelf that is generally inhabited by exorbitant amounts of dust and spiders...hence the reason I had never looked until now.

I've found various funny pictures from my childhood and some in-between(yikes) I found one of my brother **** in a star trek uniform. Pin, phazor and all. =P I also found some preschool pictures with me and the twins. They're funny because we still have the same expressions on our face when we take pictures now. We were just a lot cuter then...and shorter. ha

What else? Hm, well, I could keep going, But! I think I'll stop here and continue my adventure. haha.

The moral of the story is: Don't let your junk sit so long that you have to use a snow shovel to rake out the dust. It's killer for allergies!
ok, ciao

(PS I secretly post these blogs just so I can put up a new paint doodle. Oops! spoiled the secret...=P silly old bear)

Meistro, the winamp please

2006-05-01T00:40:00.000-06:00

A: I'm playing moonlight sonata
I: on the piano?
A: no on my winamp
I: oh ok
I: hahah at first i was like what a winamp?
I: but i get it
A: haha
A: it's a special instrument
A: from Peru
I: ive tried to learn it on the puano to
I: but its hard
A: a puano!
A: I want one of those
A: aren't they from Madagascar?
haha
I: puanos? I don't know

ha, just thought I'd share that with you. So for any of you that were wondering, Yes, I play the winamp. Frequently in fact.
I don't have a point to this blog. I just wanted to share a silly moment.
(Of course I didn't realize that Irma had already shared such a moment in a blog of her own just a while ago! How delightful. Strange minds think alike...isn't that how the saying goes? Ah, something like that. ;)
Peace out

Fantastik!

2006-04-21T00:46:00.000-06:00

...will be my response if you ask how I'm doing. =)
Life is really quite pleasant when you find yourself smiling in just about every quiet moment. Man oh man - I'm past the roadblock(s) and moving on! How delightful. ;)

I just ate a whole lot of sour gummy bears...and they were, shall we say...DELICIOUS. I was excited when I looked at the bottom of the bag and saw the last red gummy bear! Yes, I'm sure you can imagine my delight. Alas, as I pulled it out of the bag to my oh so pleased visage, I realized it was ORANGE! Oh dear. But, it was still satisfactory. Though I must say that I'm more fond of the color orange than I am of it's artificial flavoring. Bleh.

What am I talking about? Silly old bear. Anyhow, for anyone who doesn't know - I'm going to BYU Provo this summer. Which is approaching very soon! I'm very excited though. It's a dream come true...haha, actually, well, I did have a dream about being accepted. It was very real - Then I woke up and thought," blast, I won't know for at least a month!" ha, right.

Well, That's some good news in my book.
I've been driving Melissa's old 'stang...and it's fun...but scary. My word it is a clunky old beast. But I'm very attached to it. She got it when I was 10, and I've loved it ever since.

Hmm. I went to a splendid concert tonight, in which featured the ever talented Marc Meadows. =) He's a charming fellow and his music ain't half bad either. *grin* Just kidding, his music is wonderful.
Gaskells is approaching very quickly. I hope I'll be ready for it! Zoiks. I don't know if I'm up for one of those mad polkas...though, a gall-op or a Congress of Vienna would suit me just fine. =) Mmhmm

ACK! I think the world of spiders is out to get me. Seriously. I have a GIANT spider bite on my foot. AND this super speedy little spider just came towards me on the computer desk. They're all over my room too. Old houses are like that though. Ug, but, really they don't bother me...as long as they don't bite me. And now they are! It's like we had this wonderful little unspoken agreement that I wouldn't smush them if they wouldn't bite me. And NOW! Now they are just going nuts!

Ug, anyways, I am ranting about something of little consequence. As usual. I was thinking some profound thoughts last night, really. ha. But I didn't' write them down, of course. *frown* I think it was mostly just stuff about how people relate to one another, and their different levels of awareness, etc.

The more secure a person is, and the more they put forth effort to help people, the more they will understand and love, well, everyone. Tolerance is really wonderful. Without it people become really self important, and just plain ridiculous. Know what I mean? I was talking to someone the other day who had this attitude that people were just disgusting. They were talking about the "kinds" of people they don't like. How sad. How sad for them.
I mean, it's not like I'm perfect and have no bias towards anyone. Hrm. But, it's something you work at. Well, and if you're doing good things already and have a positive attitude, it comes much easier.

I know so many wonderful people. I love you guys! If I had been more reserved I would have missed so many opportunities to learn, and being reserved is something I do quite naturally. So I'm glad that A.) My eyes have been opened wider to see the beauty in people instead of their defects and B.) Many of you have befriended me despite my ridiculous...ness. ha. You know. =P
~
I love learning. For the most part. I'm excited to learn and learn and learn. I really want to start learning languages. Oiy, I feel so behind. I really want to learn French and German. Mmmhm. And Italian and possibly Russian. Italian for singing and Russian so I can be more highly esteemed of my brother Aaron, who speaks it frequently and fluently. Plus, it's cool. =)
I need to read more books. I've just started Wuthering Heights. I don't know if I like it yet. I am Sure I will though. When I started Jane Eyre I was quite bored. I kept reading because the writing was very good and I had hope that something wonderful was going to happen...and it did. =) Most certainly. So. Yes. Literature is groovy.

Mmm, I think I'm done talking. I hope I haven't given too much away...hmm. I'll go think about that.
Adios.

At the sound of the chime, turn the page

2006-04-03T00:49:00.000-06:00

General Conference was really quite wonderful today - Very uplifting, peaceful, and a great reminder and re-confirmation of who I am and what I believe. Excellent.
Soon the talks will be available to download on the Internet. (www.lds.org)
***
Jane Eyre is one of the best books I've ever read. I truly enjoy it. Jane is a fascinating, disciplined, and genuine personality. I enjoy her perspectives and morals.

Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Pride and Prejudice, Faust, Little Women, Small Gods, Believing Christ, and Les Miserables are among some of the others on my best loved list. **Not to mention books of scripture; the Bible, the Book of Mormon, D&C, Pearl of Great Price - The greatest books.**

There are many books I would still yet like to read. I would like to finish all the "classics". Dantes inferno is one I'd like to try also. And the list goes on. Any particular suggestions? I've given reading a break for so long that I'm beginning to ache.

What wonderful gifts of literature and music humanity has been blessed with. And so many Divinely inspired. How sweet it is. How sweet it is.

***

I am excited and anxious to start school in the fall. I will miss California terribly though. At least, Im pretty sure of it. And I will miss my brother. We really do have some good times. heh. Hes pretty amazing. Hes gonna turn out to be a swell chap.

I'll miss my home too, and all the wonderful people here. =) But is refreshing to know that I will start a new chapter. Well, sort of. Ive kind of been doin the college thing...heh, just not so - Anyway you know what I mean.

Im excited because with either BYU (Idaho or Provo) they have two of the Ballroom dance teams in the nation. Sweet. I think I'd like to take a shot at that. With some instruction first, of course. =P

I might study musical arts, with a focus on either Voice or Jazz studies. Nice. I want to learn French, German, Italian, Russian, oh man, I want to learn them all. I also would like to serve a mission in a few years. Well, well see where my ambitions take me. Theres a lot I want to do and now it feels like Im actually going to get something done. =)

I do love my friends here, and it will be hard to leave. But it is only part of the year. Though, my family will probably be moving in the fall. *frown* So I may not have a home to come back to. They wont sell our house, but they would rent it. This is my home. Ha, I sound like a selfish toddler. Ah well. I'll get over it. ;) And all the better I suppose.

The classes I'm taking are demanding. Theyre kicking my butt to be frank (I wonder what it would be like to be a Frank). And now its frustrating because with my AA I dont even need these courses because the degree covers all my GE requirements for BYU, excepting a few of their required courses. I really ought to step up and try to maintain my GPA. UG. Maybe if I read enough Jane Eyre I'll inherit some discipline. Not likely. Ha.

How unfortunate - or not. I suppose it would really be a shame if it were that simple. Blast.

Well, I think I've said enough for now. Any questions, concerns, or complaints may be forwarded to

mother.

Ha, ok, yeah, so I'm not actually funny. Go take a hike

YA Shmoe

A Night at the Opera?

2006-03-18T00:50:00.000-07:00

In walking today I passed a girl whom I noticed was wearing the same sweater as I. In fact, she was about the same height & age as myself. She had straight brown hair just past her shoulders. I ran my hand through my mechanically straightened hair - a rare sensation- and grinned.

I grinned as I wondered at this strange clone-like moment. How conventional I felt. How average. I looked at her as I smiled, but her gaze was hard and directed at the horizon; with lips tightly pursed. Then I shivered as a cold wind blasted right through the fibers of my sleeves. The clouds were dark and heavy overhead. Ah, soon my frizzy waves will be back. I will return to my unconventional self.
How delightful.

***
Of course I know I am a little absurd. That had no deep significance or value. Heh, I just felt like writing something descriptive. =P Deal with it.

So, here's a little anecdote for the evening - my Macbeth, um, experience.

First of all, I will say that the performance was excellent. Talented Cast, great music - just overall goodness. Ahem, though, I had a bit of an experience that caught me quite off guard...

Let's start at the beginning (a very nice place to start). *smile*

I ran up to the box office window at 7:15 and asked if there were any tickets left. (I lack punctuality to an absurd degree.) Anyhow, the lady paused and looked at me, "yes, there is one ticket left." 'OH good!' I said and I pulled out my money. She handed me the ticket and said, in a slightly disgusted tone, "You're right here, seat 113 O, Orchestra seat".

I was a little confused at her tone and figured the seat was at the very front side or something like that. Ah well, I walked in an was ushered into a large mass of people. I recognized Sister Segmiller and talked to her until we were let in 15 min. later. I didn't see anyone else I recognized. I went in and found my seat...well, I thought it was my seat. Ha, I misread the letter Q as O and these people came up to me and said, Um, I think you're in our seats...er, right, sorry. I walked away confused.

Then, there it was, my seat 113 O. Ah, it was a very good seat! I was pleased. I sat down next to a pleasant looking lady and we began chatting. She was very nice and I thought, ah, what a splendid evening. We talked about the North Bay Opera company and Solano's Choral Society. Then they began to dim the lights.

I smiled and took a deep breath and suddenly there was a man sitting in the previously empty seat to my left. He had kind of stumbled into it. He pointed to our armrest and said "We'll share it hun" and jabbed me in the side teasingly with his elbow. I frowned. Of course. Then he turned to me and said, "Have you read this play?"...In one dreadful whiff I caught the foul stench that was on his breath. This man was intoxicated, heavily. I replied shortly "yes".

"OH good, then you can give me a summary real quick." The lights were down and it the orchestra was about to start. I quickly offered him my program and he laughed and said....

Er, sorry, to be continued. I'll have to finish this one later!

And I Have Eyelashes Too!

2006-02-21T15:50:00.000-07:00

Went to the City yesterday. It was very beautiful.

I'm very cold and I wish I hadn't just eaten that little bowl of ice cream. It wasn't even very good. Though, I really wanted it to be.

I feel like I will have a lot of opportunities this coming year. I am not going to Europe this summer. I had a feeling it wasn't going to work out just yet; but I didn't want to be pessimistic about it either. I will still go. But it is not a reasonable goal at this time. Hopefully I can get a good job this summer and spend a lot of time with my sister before she moves.

If I don't get accepted into BYU this Fall I think I might go to Russia. :)

There is a program I've been told about where you can go to Russia or China and teach* English to school children there. I know people who have done it and had great experiences. The cost is reasonable, and I already have money set aside. This would also allow me to take a week or two from that trip and see other parts of Europe. I would be there for a semester.

Or, if I don't do that, and say I get a really good job this summer, I could keep working and just save my money. I would apply to Sac State or some other Cal school and work in the meantime. I should have my associates degree in a few weeks. At least I hope so, Solano is backed up reviewing the applicants so it may take longer for them to process mine. (Even though I finished my requirements last semester. *frown*) Anyhow, these are just a few possibilities, I'm certain I will have other ideas later. :)

***

I had the pleasure of spending some time with my three year old neighbor today. It couldn't have been longer than 20 minutes - but she made me think of some things. She is very full of life and energy and the genuine qualities inherent to children.

We were sitting outside and I watched as she scanned the area searching for her big sister, whom we were waiting for. The moment she saw her she shouted with joy and ran to her full speed in her little play heels. She hugged her sister, shouting, "I Found you Toria, I found you!". Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had that kind of enthusiasm, concern, and love for their brothers and sisters?

Well, it seems man is not capable of creating Utopia. Though, I do believe children are very close to it. A child is more down to earth and genuine than most any adult, I think.

Their heads haven't been filled with garbage, pride, bitterness, or mistrust - At least, by their rights they shouldn't be exposed to these things. We put these things into our lives knowingly and are fully accountable for them, for the most part. Some things we can not control. But, what we can learn from children is that we can be happy with what ever happens to us. Not to be cliche', but as they say, "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade."

As my little friend sat on "Toria"s lap, she began to wiggle around, complaining - basically just being a toddler. Her sister put her finger on her mouth and said "what a beautiful mouth you have" then her nose "what a beautiful nose you have!" etc, "And these BEAUTIFUL eyes" The little girl smiled and exclaimed, "and I have eyelashes too!"

This little girl knew that she was loved, and that she is beautiful. She was proud to be who she was.

It made me sad to think, at what point will she betray these truths to believe the lies the world will feed her about what "beauty" is? One could hope that this would never happen. But, as we know, society teaches us that only a select few are truly beautiful - and even those are only so honored after having spent considerable time and effort creating an image that is fashionable to the public eye. Women need to be told they are beautiful, unfortunately, or they will turn to other sources to fulfil that need; Make-up, clothing, whatever,

"Now I am beautiful. Well almost, I just need this here or get rid of that there, and then, THEN I will be beautiful".

This is a serious problem within our society.

At what point will this little girl believe the lie that her eyelashes are not as wonderful as she thought them to be? She must have mascara, eye liner, she must have something to "enhance" them, make them "better".

Eventually, of course, there is a time when we see the inconsistencies with what the world deems as "beautiful" and things that truly are. Though, for many, it is hard to fall out of the trap.

How wonderful it is when a woman finally reaches the point where she can feel beautiful all the time; to look back at her youth and shake her head at the worry and stress she placed on an attribute she already possessed. One that she possessed since she first began. And will always possess forever more.

There are many who do not see this however, and will not see this unless there is a greater out-pour of love and charity among people everywhere. When there is greater love and charity for others, rather than ones-self, dross things melt away and the worth of each human soul is seen in a clearer light.
The world seems to be growing sicker and sicker everyday - shrouded in the fog of wickedness, vanity, pride, and confusion.

I felt genuine and beautiful as a child, and somewhere between then and now there was a bit of alteration/confusion in that perception. Over time that child-like knowledge has returned. With the strenghthing of my testimony came the re-assurance of my worth, inside and out.

And, though it has been there all along, I think as I progress each year I see a greater beauty in all people. I see individuality, potential greatness, special unique qualities that they posess - and yes, beauty.
Cool. Can't wait till I'm 65. Maybe then I will finally be qualified to give others advice.

Well, my brain hurts and I've gotta run.
Take care my home fries.

Discards

2006-01-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

I had some run-ins today with some of what I like to call, "undesirable prospects".
In other words: guys who were less than gentlemen. It makes me wonder if I was planted in the wrong part of the world, or if guys are just creeps everywhere.
Ha, now don't get offended gents, that was a general statement. I know plenty of great guys. Actually, you guys look a lot cooler now in comparison to those I met today. ;) And I'm sure you are, ha, no - I know you are.

I'm too lazy to go into the all details with these "discards", (haha, sorry, I like labeling men it seems.) =) but here's a brief sum up:

1.) Stared, smiled, then waved at a stranger from a distance who I thought was a friend...ok, that one was my mistake. But he was staring first, that's why I thought it was my friend. lol. Anyhow, turns out he was creepy. oops

2.) My greatest fear: Thugs - there were two. And they were ghetto. lol. Very poor communication skills along with crude comments. *Shakes head* Act like a gentleman and I'd be glad to talk to you. I make it a point to be lady-like, so shouldn't I deserve as much?

3.) Sleazy Salesman: UG, disgusting. I only agreed to hear him out because he implied that he was a student doing a survey for a speech class. Lies, overconfidence, and REALLY bad pick up lines. And he got offended when I said no thanks and that I had confidence that he'd win his contest/sales ...with such great talents and communication skills... (which he had been bragging about). Aw, well, he caught on that I was patronizing him and got a bit short.

Ha. So sad, too bad. Maybe he'll figure out that women will respect him when HE learns to respects them.

On another note, I taught my little brother how to slow dance the other night. Don't tell him I told you though ;) He wouldn't want anyone to know that he can do something so lame and embarrassing as dance. haha. Cute.

Well, I just can't wait till he gets older and LOVES going to dances. =) His first one is only in a few months! I taught him how to ask a girl and where to put his hands and what to say, etc. Well, the general conversation structure for a youth dance. I told him he can improvise and be his clever little self - as long as he's not making fun of the girl he's dancing with...which, let's just say I wouldn't put it past him. haha. *frowns*

No, he'll grow up when he needs to. So he's a good little dancer, and he's got the spin thing down pretty good. I told him if the girl is annoying and talks to much(or if the conversation dies) he can spin her and get a moment of freedom while simultaneously distracting her AND gaining her admiration. Because, let me tell ya, girls like to be spun. =) Yeah. I bought him pudding cups for enduring the mini lesson. What a trooper. haha.

Life is good. School is too much. I hate math. I'm attracted to some of my teachers (is that bad? I can't help it, they're smart. And relatively young. ha...) I like my new haircut. I feel like working out but I don't have a gym. I'm listening to great music and I want to dance. All I need now is a hot date on this cool Friday night.

Aha! the phone is ringing, what timing! How ideal! This could be the phone call that changes the entire course of my evening!

Right. So, that's my cue.
-Exit stage left-
Arrivederci

Perlious Polka's and Other News

2005-12-21T22:40:00.000-07:00

Gaskells and Dickens were lots of fun this year.

I had a near death experience at Gaskells, ha, which was the result of an overdose of polka. It was the last polka of the evening (ha, that sounds so funny) and the musicians were playing faster and faster. Some couples left the dance floor - they couldn't cut it. haha. My partner was really good, but we couldn't dance in the normal position anymore; it shifted into a kind of hug and we were just flying through the air. It was exhillerating...but also dangerous. So I will warn you now - don't try this at home. ;)

Ahem, to continue:

In the chaos and dizziness of it all, we got caught up in mad tangle of floor length dresses and hoop skirts. I don't know who stepped on who, but we all were pushed out of our orbits in some form or other. I lost my balance and started to turn on my ankle, but my partner grabbed me and saved my from my impending doom. I'm pretty sure somebody stepped on my skirt, because my hoops and petticoats were pulled down (only about a 1/4 of an inch) past my dress and were visible for the whole world to see. Shocking, I know. ;)

Anyhow, despite the terror factor, it was kind of fun to play "damsel in distress" as my partner held me tight and proclaimed "my goodness are you all right!?" I grinned, "yeah, nice catch" ha, I guess that kind of spoils the whole "Victorian" charm bit. haha. Anyhow, that was fun. I should like to do it again sometime.

Let's see, other things...Oh! I went Caroling at a nursing home on Friday. That was such a sweet experience. My dear Victoria arranged it all. She has been wanting to go caroling for so long now, and most of her friends that said they'd do it flaked on her. So it was just the two of us and my mother.

And I am so glad I went, those who didn't show really missed out - it was really neat. We sang in the dining hall where a lot of the residents were waiting for their dinner. Then we went down the halls and stopped at all the open doorways (come to think of it they were all open) and asked its occupants if they would like to be caroled to. Most of them nodded, some looked very confused, even scared in some cases. Some didn't understand what we wanted and one lady kept on trying to pay us. *smile*

Victoria has a gorgeous voice though, my goodness. Once we started singing, they would start smiling. I had two favorites of the evening. First, the little German lady, Emma? I think. She was very sweet and frail. She didn't understand what we wanted. Victoria would ask if she would like to hear Christmas carols. I piped in, "May we sing for you?" She just kind of nodded. We began and she nodded her head excitedly, finally understanding. She smiled as if she were re-living some wonderful memory. She kept calling us sweet girls, she had a German accent. We sang Silent Night (A traditional German carol). My mom sang as much of it she could remember in the German, I only knew a phrase or two so I just stuck to the English. But when we sang that song she nodded her head and mouthed the words with us, holding her hands together, smiling. It felt so good to put a smile on her face. I hope she had a good Christmas.

My other favorite was a man whose face I never quite saw. His back was turned to us when we came to his door. His dinner was placed before him, and he sat holding an old photograph. He was right by the door, but he never turned to look at us. We asked if he would like us to sing, he said, "Sure sure."

"Any requests?"

"Oh yes"

He knew right away the songs he wanted to hear. We sang them for him...and he sang with us. He had a beautiful base voice, though quiet. I was surprised because it seemed difficult for him to speak in the first place. But he sang as much as he could. The photograph he was holding was attached to a tongue depressor so he could hold it in his hand. It was of a man and woman dancing at what looked to be a Christmas party. One could assume it was he and his wife. Before we left he asked if we would sing one more;

"Sure, what would you like?"

"Yes Jesus Loves Me".

Victoria and I frowned. We didn't know that one. But before we could refuse, my mother had already started singing. He sang with her, never turning his gaze from the worn photograph. We left and he said 'God Bless You'.

I think he was really my favorite. There was something about him, he was so dignified. Although old and frail, he was confident and content, and it was as if all he wanted now was to meet God and be with his wife again. Hmm

Yes, there were others that night who I think enjoyed the singing, as small a group as we were. But if it were only for that man and woman, it would have been completely worth it. I think I got more from the experience than they did. Victoria and I plan to do this again, at a different care center, this Friday. If anyone would like to join us just let me know. The more the merrier. =)

Well I think that's everything. Merry Christmas everyone.

Give Them the Flowers Now

2005-12-10T22:26:00.000-07:00

I was reading the book "Leaves of Gold", yesterday. It's filled with poetry and quotes in it that are very uplifting. I'll post some here, more for me than for you. But if you would like to read them, please do. Here are just a few that I liked:

Give Them the Flowers Now
Closed eyes can't see the white roses,
Cold hands can't hold them, you know,
Breath that is stilled can not gather
The odors that sweet from them blow.
Death, with a peace beyond dreaming,
Its children of earth doth endow;
Life is the time we can help them,
So give them the flowers now!

Here are the struggles and striving,
Here are the cares and the tears;
Now is the time to be smoothing
The frowns and the furrows and fear.
What to closed eyes are kind sayings?
What to hushed heart is deep vow?
Naught can avail after parting,
So give them the flowers now!

Just a kind word or a greeting;
Just a warm grasp or a smile--
There are the flowers that will lighten
The burdens for many a mile.
After the journey is over
What is the use of them; how
Can they carry them who must be carried?
Oh, give them the flowers now!

Blooms from the happy heart's garden
Plucked in the spirit of love;
Blooms that are earthly reflections
Of flowers that blossom above.
Words cannot tell what a measure
Of blessing such gifts will allow
To dwell in the lives of many,
So give them the flowers now!
-Leigh M. Hodges

"There is a wealth of unexpressed love in the world. It is one of the chief causes of sorrow evoked by death: what might have been said or might have been done that never can be said or done."
-Arthur Hopkins

"Progress, in the sense of acquisition, is something; but progress in the sense of being is a great deal more. To grow higher, deeper, wider, as the years go on; to conquer difficulties, and acquire more and more power; to feel all one's faculties unfolding, and truth descending into the soul--this makes life worth living."
-J.F. Clarke

"No one really knows what it is to live until he can truly say these eleven great verbs of life: I am, I think, I know, I feel, I wonder, I see, I believe, I can, I ought, I will, I serve. Life is but the process of learning through daily experience the meaning of these eleven wonderful little verbs of life and acquiring the personal power of each:
I AM: the power of self-knowledge.
I THINK: the power to investigate
I KNOW: the power to master facts.
I FEEL: the power to appreciate. to value and to love.
I WONDER: the power of reverence, curiosity, worship.
I SEE: the power of insight, imagination, vision.
I BELIEVE: the power of adventurous faith
I CAN: the power to act and skill to accomplish.
I OUGHT: the power of conscience, the moral imperative.
I WILL: will power, loyalty to duty, consecration.
I SERVE: power to be useful, devotion to a cause."
-George Walter Fiske

God the Architect

Who Thou art I know not
But this much I know;
Thou has set the Pleiades
In a silver row;

Thou hast sent the trackless winds
Loose upon their way;
Thou hast reared a colored wall
Twixt the night and day;

Thou hast made the flowers to bloom
And the stars to shine;
Hid rare gems of richest ore
In the tunneled mine:

But chief of all Thy wondrous works,
Supreme of all Thy plan,
Thou has put the upward reach
Into the heart of man.
-Harry Kemp

Do We Pass Them By?

2005-12-09T22:58:00.000-07:00

Where am I going?
What is a humanities major anyhow?
What am I going to do with that? Help humanity?

I hope so. *frown* I wish I could help people right here - people that I see just walking around town. There are so many who are homeless right here in Fairfield.

I'm really glad I used to take the bus. I saw people. It was humbling. One day I got off a ways before my stop so I could walk the rest of the way home. It was a nice day and I needed the fresh air. I began my walk with thoughts sifting around my head about what I was going to do when I got home, about projects I had due, about how I wanted to relax, about how enlightened I had felt that day from a good experience in my art class.

Then I noticed the woman walking just a few feet ahead of me. She was hunched over a shopping cart. She didn't look that old - maybe my mother's age.
Something struck me about her. I wanted to know who she was, and how she came to be where she was.

Her hair was a terrible mess of matted blond hair. She had an old coat and a few items in her cart. She was determined to continue going to where ever it was she was headed - but with a hint of sadness, or perhaps despair.

This poor woman, does she have children? family? ...friends?

Who hugs her when she comes...
home.

How could this happen? Had she done something really awful with her life to bring her to this point? Or did she just come upon very unfortunate circumstances? I felt like a jerk. Gracious, what if this were MY mother?

She is probably someones'.

I was coming up behind her, slowing my pace a bit, almost with reverence. Something made me want to talk to her, to offer to help her. How could I help her? What if she was insane? What if she followed me home? Wasn't there something I could do? Couldn't I just get her something to eat? Give her my coat? I had no money on me. These thoughts went through my head

just as quickly as I passed her by.
I kept walking.
Was the fact that I felt genuine "concern" enough to make me feel ok? as if I had done something? How sad - too bad I can't do anything.

My mother would have done something. She is amazing. She doesn't have fear like I do. She has fed the homeless. She has brought them to our door, talked to them, heard them out, made them something warm to eat. She never donated large sums of money to charities. She doesn't have the means. Some people do. But who does more in regards to really being charitable? She visits the elderly, the sick, the despairing. And I judge her, for inconsequencial things. But SHE cares. She DOES. What do I do? What do you do?

I hope I am never rich. I don't think I could stand to be excessive when others suffer because they have nothing. I suppose I could donate to all kinds of charities. But then where do I find the justification for however much I spend in my own household? For my children, their comfort, college, etc.

UG.

I'm cold, I'm tired, and I'm rambling. I'm actually making a little sense. :)

OK, well I'm gonna stop rubbing my forehead. Victoria's here. Woo. Partay! =)
And you're all just jealous.

A Laugh at My Expense, If You Please.

2005-11-10T22:24:00.000-07:00

HA!

There's nothing like a good hearty laugh to start your day. Eh? Wouldn't you agree? Well, I have come to find that laughter is a lovely remedy to many of life's troubles. The ability to laugh at yourself being the best remedy of them all. Goodness, if I didn't laugh at myself on a regular basis I'd be a very depressed and dejected girl. Honestly, to those of you who have had more than one conversation with me, wouldn't you agree? One moment I am clever, the next you wonder if I actually have thoughts in my head, or if I am just a random explosion of words and giggles that spurt out spontaneously. =P (whew, talk about a run on sentence!)

But yes, if I wasn't so ridiculous and awkward sometimes, I would probably be rather haughty and dreadful to be around (shh, to those of you with biting remarks, shush, this is a happy blog *cough* Cris *cough*).

Haha, ok ok, so I've decided to share an embarrassing moment, just a little one. I think I'll add more as they come (which they frequently do, so I hope this will be entertaining) The first one happened just the other day as I was cleaning my room (yes, shocking)
I had my music on loud and was dancing (or hopping, or something to that effect) around my room while I was picking things up. As my "dance" thing, (whatever it was) got faster, I turned and slammed my (bare) foot down dramatically in time with the music. Unfortunately, the heel of my foot landed directly on my mechanical pencil. The pencil was lodged upright, point up, in a slot in my backpack. I let out a yelp and looked down at my bleedin' (perforated) foot. After my initial shock, I started laughing so hard that my brother came to see what the trouble? was.

Well, I guess that's what I get for cleaning my room. eh? =P Anyhow, life goes on, and life did go on. I continued to clean my room, perhaps with a bit less enthusiasm. My dance lost most of it's flavor, seeing how I could really only hop on one foot, which isn't nearly as cool (ha). But that didn't stop me from dancing.

Anyhow, the moral of this story is: don't be afraid to laugh at your own idiocies. We all have them. And if you think you don't, then I'm sorry; because you're missing out on a lot of good laughs.

=) Have a nice day kids. Post a silly moment of your own if you will. Make the world a better place. Make others feel better by letting them know they're not as much of a fool as you are. *wink*

A Linguistic Snack

2005-08-20T23:12:00.000-06:00

Dug this little ditty up from last year. I think my favorite line is "this young man here is no brighter than a mallet" Ah, some things never change. :)

~Ode to a Burrito~
*****
Oh Burrito so white and hot,
Scalding your predator with cheese soft like snot.
Steaming and beaming you spread forth your scorn
Your master is confused, bewildered, forlorn.

What should he do with this mess of hot meal?
He looks for a cloth or a napkin to steal.
Aha! He exclaims when a napkin he finds.
Thrusting it on you he sits down to dine.

Alas he is burned again and again.
He thinks of that mighty master of zen,
What would he do in this time of confusion?
How would he come to a rightful conclusion?

Should he stop munching your pasty hot flesh?
And seek for a treat that is tasty and fresh
Would then that great pain in the tongue subside?
But how would he from you your nutrients deride?

So he continues and on you he dines
Lacking in nothing except for some wine.
Sitting there thinking, gosh my mouth hurts
Why, I shan't be able to taste my desert!
~
E'en a fool would have stopped to save his soft pallet
But this young man here is no brighter than a mallet.
~
Oh little burrito, now gone and digested
How could you die by a tongue so detested!?
I mourn for your beauty, your poise, your grace
Your Mexican splendour, your exquisite fine taste.

So sleep well little burrito, in the Heavens above
Mayhaps you shall find a tortilla to love.

-Amilla the Great 10/26/04

Gravy is Definately Not a Love Sauce

2005-07-10T22:06:00.000-06:00

These are just some quotes from a book of love-related quotes I was recently given. I picked out the ones I liked. Enjoy. =)

"Friendship is a disinterested commerce between equals; love, an abject intercourse between tyrants and slaves." -Oliver Goldsmith

"Love is a great beautifier" -Louisa May Alcott

"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love" -Goethe

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the perogative of the brave." -Mahatma Ghandi

"Intimacy, n. A relation into which fools are providentialy drawn for their mutual destruction." -Ambrose Bierce

"To hide the key to your heart is to risk forgetting where you placed it." -Timothy P Childers

"Lots of people are willing to die for the person they love, which is a pity, for it is a much grander thing to live for that person." -Jason Hurst

"To love another person is to help them love God." -Soren Kierkegaard

"Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference." -Libbie Fudim

"Oh, innocent victims of Cupid,
Remember this terse little vers;
To let a fool kiss you is stupid,
To let a kiss fool you is worse." -E Y Harburg

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." -Dorothy Parker

"If you first don't succeed in love, try a little ardour." -Anon

"Love does not consist in gazing at eachother, but in looking together in the same direction." -Saint-Exupery

"Spread love everywhere you go...let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." -Mother Teresa

"In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others." -Andre Maurois

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not." -Andre Gide

"Unable are the Loved to die: For Love is Immortality." -Emily Dickinson

"The opposite of love, I have found, is not hate, but indifference." -Elie Weisel

"Assumptions are the termites of relationships." -Henry Winkler

"When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues." -Honore de Balzac

"The love of liberty is the love of others. The love of power is the love of ourselves." -William Hazlit

"No one perfectly loves God who does not perfectly love some of his creatures." -Marguerite de Valois

Amy's Journal 8/11/1991

2005-05-22T22:18:00.000-06:00

A journal entry dictated by Miss Amy, transcribed by a certain elder brother (Jason).
Amy - 5 yrs old; Jason - 15 yrs old
(this is the full text; exactly as it is written on paper) =)

************************************
Jesus died for us, and we love him. I like to play with my cousins, and my best friend is Rosie Ojeda. And I love Mommy and Daddy. Mommy can look at the ones I already did, ok? I like to play with Daddy, and I like to tickle him. I like Mommy reading me stories. I like to play with duplo. Are you done yet? Jesus loves us. Did you put "Jesus loves us"? The Bible is good to read every day, and the Book of Mormon is good to read. Uhhh...My other best friend is Jessica (imaginary) and I like to play with her but she lives too far away. I like to type on the computer. My favorite food is candy bars and pizza and pop tarts and popsicles and ring pops and chicken and beef stew(?) and bestables (vegetables) are my favorite food. Ice cream is my delicious food that I love.

************************************
So there you have it. I haven't changed a bit. Well, maybe a teense. But I'm pretty much the same girl. And ice cream is still "my delicious food that I love". Heh. =)